#december 7 is his birthday he wouldn’t wait that long right….

[lkluvsu]

quevedo do you know you have thirty minutes??? yeahhh thirty minutes!!!!

[maeedrg]

Happy birthday, Satoru

Birthday Boy Gojo x Reader

ᯓ★

Synopsis : in which you surprise Satoru for his birthday, and he realizes how this day is not as bad as he thought, and how much you mean to him.

Words count : 3k

Warnings : tooth rooting fluff, friends to lovers, slight angst, it takes place before the canon events of the manga but years after Suguru deflected.

જ⁀➴ ⠀ׂ Autor’s note : I just had to write a fic for his birthday… At first I had no idea what to do, but yesterday it suddenly came to my mind ! Enjoy babes <3

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December 7. It was Gojo’s Birthday, and you were the only one to remember it right now. Maybe through the day people would indeed remember, obviously, after all. But you wanted to be the first. You took pride in it. Midnight, and barely one minute passed. You knew that Satoru was still in his office downstairs, working on files that the stupid higher ups gave him. Again. An amount of endless paperwork, actually. For once, Satoru still being busy with work at such an unholy hour was perfect for your plan.

You take your phone, dial his number, and call him, excited. Yet you try to keep it hidden, to not be betrayed by your tone of voice. You couldn’t get caught. After some seconds, he answers and you sigh with relief.

“Y/n ? Calling me so late, do you need anything ? Got into trouble ?” teases Satoru, tired way of speaking, and you can hear the shuffle of paper behind him at the same time.

“Hmm, yes. It’s very very important. Can you come on the rooftop of the school ? Like… now,” you fake a worried and slightly panicked voice. Well, you were indeed worried just by knowing Satoru must be beyond exhausted at this hour of the night, or day. Even though he would never admit it. He was like that.

“Wow, wait- It’s that important ? Is it a curse ? I don’t feel anything off, though,” he raises his head, keeping his phone against his ear and looking around, squinting his eyes to see anything with his cursed technique. Yeah, nothing. 

“No, not a curse. But it’s urgent, come,” you try to hurry him, biting your lower lip as you pace around the ground of the rooftop, wind making you shiver in this cold weather.

“Here I’m thinking that you are about to confess to me,” Satoru jokes, and you were sure a stupid smirk was on his lips. You roll your eyes, unable to stop smiling at his teasing.

“Satoru, I’m being serious here,” you huff, squeezing your phone tighter against your cheek as you stare at what you prepared, getting impatient. You didn’t deny him, though. That’s what he was thinking, and that makes him grin.

“Me too. I wouldn’t mind some gut wrenching love confession. But alright. I needed a break from all these stupid papers, anyway. I’ll be here soon,” he chuckles, before clearing his throat. You say bye, and turn off your phone. Nervosity directly makes your heart hammer in your chest, growing even more agitated. You just couldn’t wait.

You stand, in front of your little surprise, taking it in your hands and looking up at the starry sky. You take a deep breath, and then Satoru teleports in front of you. The moment you see him popping -long used to his random way of appearing out of nowhere- you extend a big strawberry cake with dozens of candles in front of you.

“Happy birthday !” you exclaim, huge fat smile on your face, eyes half lidded of joy, the flames of the candles slowly moving in the cool air of the night.

Satoru freezes in front of you, partying his lips and being left speechless. Completely and utterly speechless. With one hand, he pulls down his blindfold, revealing his eyes wide open. You could see the chock in his blue orbs, he clearly didn’t expect that. He lets out a somewhat nervous laugh, eying down the cake, and then you. A smile stretches his lips.

“Y/n, what-... what is that ? MY birthday ?” he asks, stepping closer, and licks his lips staring down at the tasty looking cake, then at your pretty face. He couldn’t believe his own eyes, and his heart swells at the thought of you doing this for him. How sweet. 

“Don’t tell me you forgot your own birthday. We’re past midnight, so it’s officially your day ! December 7, Sir,” you chuckle, a bit exasperated at the idea that he could fail to remember his own anniversary. Even though it wouldn’t surprise you. Satoru bites his lower lip, and passes his hand over his clearly beyond exhausted face.

“Shit, I did. I was so caught up with work these days, I barely noticed we already were in December,” he starts to explain himself, nervously laughing at how stupid he felt. He raises back his head, and meets your gentle stare. You extend the cake again.

“It’s alright, Satoru. I didn’t forget. So blow your candles,” you insist in a softer voice, and Satoru felt like he died a little at the ‘I didn’t forget’ that you said. He stays silent for some seconds, which was very long coming from someone like him that always was yapping every moment of the day. He takes a deep breath, inhales it, and then steps closer.

“Make a wish first”, you whisper, and he locks his orbs with yours, smiling, before closing his eyes. He looked so pretty, you thought, the orange lights of the flames dancing on his pale skin. When he opens them back, you wonder what he wished for deep in his heart, and he blows his candles. The flames disappear into the night, the smoke lingering in the air.

“What was your wish ?” you can’t stop but ask. He grins, patting your head as he tilt his faces to the side.

“Uh-uh, can’t tell you, or else it won’t come true,” he refuses, winking at you. You grew even more curious, but didn’t insist. Satoru really wanted his wish to come true, after all. A wish that meant a lot to him. 

“That’s right. Now let’s get you a slice, birthday boy !” you exclaim happily, maybe even more excited than he was himself.

You turn around, in front of the table that you managed to bring on the rooftop, which was a hassle, and all the other stuff that you needed. Leds illuminate the table, and you take a knife and hum as you cut the cake. Satoru stays speechless again, and he notices small gifts at the feet of the table. No way. His smiles get even more softer, and his eyes stare right back at your form.

“Here you go ! I went to buy it at your favorite bakestry earlier during the day. I swear, I was eying it down all afternoon and evening… It looks so tasty,” you explain, and he takes the little plate and spoon you gave him as you turn around to prepare your own slice.

“Thanks, y/n,” he says, a bit more seriously than usual. But as you turn again towards him, he harbors back his usual goofy smile as if nothing happened. 

“You’re welcome.”

You both take a bite, and sigh at how tasty it was. The cake was definitely worth the wait, and Satoru beams of happiness as he nods and hums.

“I just ascended to heaven,” he jokes cheerfully, munching and almost devouring the whole slice. You laugh slightly, and he looks back at you with a smirk.

“You can have more. The cake is all yours, actually,” you muse.

“Well, I’m sharing it with you, so it’s not all mine…” he corrects, showing with his chin the slice you are eating. You huff, rolling your eyes.

“Obviously, I bought it !”

“Nah, it’s just me being generous right now,” he retorts jokingly, and you finish your slice as you shake your head. You both put back the plates on the table, and Gojo walks towards it, looking around with curiosity.

“You really did all this, for me ? I mean, I know I’m amazing, and that you just love me so much, I’m Gojo Satoru after all,” he starts in a fake overly prideful way that makes you squint your eyes, leaning against the railing of the rooftop, “but I didn’t expect all… the effort,” he finishes more calmly, looking back at you as you smile tenderly.

“Of course. You told me that your birthday was just another regular day for you, another year older. You never made a big deal out of it. So, I decided it wouldn’t ! It’s a special day, and it’s yours. It’s a reminder that I’m grateful that you were born, and that I was able to meet you and become your friend. I’m happy that you’re here, on earth, with me. I’m happy to celebrate this day. I’m happy to have you in my life, and I’m happy to see you grow older a little more,” you explain, looking at the buildings of the school under you, and further away, the lights of the city of Tokyo deep in the darkness of the night. 

You didn’t know Satoru for that long, actually. Barely more than a year, meeting him last september. You studied in another city during your teenage years, and became a sorcerer for another part of your life somewhere else. You moved not so long ago to Tokyo, meeting the Great Gojo Satoru that quickly became more than a coworker. Way more than you both originally thought. 

He didn’t talk much about his past, everytime it was vaguely, but he always showed how he felt disconnected to his birthday. For him, it was the day he came to earth, how the second he was born the burden of the world was already on his shoulders. The boring day people of other clans would wish him a happy birthday, without actually caring about him, and instead directly remind him of his position. The day he couldn’t even celebrate with his own parents, from which he got separated early in youth. The day he wished never happened. The day he felt so lonely, more than he let people think. The day he once liked to celebrate in the past, when it was with Geto Suguru, but it was long forgotten. The day he now was too busy to even think about. The day he even forgot himself, because who cares, anyway, if not even his own person.

In the quietness of his non answer, you decide to continue, feeling like the mood shifted.

“I even prepared you gifts ! It actually took me time to pick them, since you kinda already own everything you want…” you spat, turning and squatting down to grab one of the gifts. You chuckle to yourself and stand back up, only to be met with Satoru looking right back at you, with an expression you never saw him have before.

Tears. Tears were at the corner of his beautiful eyes that were wide open in shock at your earlier words. He was unmoving, wind making his hair swing left and right gently. You gasp, not expecting that at all. Because it was the first time you saw Gojo Satoru cry. 

“Satoru ? Are you okay-” you start to say concerned, but then he turns off his infinity, and suddenly grabs you, making the gift fall at your feet. Thankfully, it didn’t break. But you have no time to think about such things, that his strong arms wrap around your body and cradles you close against his warm chest. His face is deep buried in your neck, and you swear you just heard him sniff. 

“That means so much to me, y/n. I didn’t even know it would mean anything, actually,” his voice is almost struggling to sort out the words of his throat, strained. He tightens his grip around you as if he was afraid to let go, and you can’t help but hug him back as strongly as you can.

“I’m glad, Satoru,” you whisper softly, and he kisses your neck affectionately. You shiver at the touch. Or maybe it's because his lips are warm, in duality with the coldness of outside.

“I don’t know if it’s better than the love confession I imagined,” he tries to joke to lighten the mood, voice muffled in your shoulder. You let out a laugh, nudging him.

“Well, birthday boy, anything you want for your day. But first, take your gifts,” you look up at him, and he lifts his head from your shoulder to stare at your eyes for a few seconds, not answering. You both stay like that in a short lingering moment, eyes staring back at each other.

“Ah yes, the gifts. I’m excited,” a big smile forms on his lips. You step back, and take on the floor the first gift. You give it to him, and he almost squeals at how overly delighted he was. He was a grown ass adult, but looked like a little boy right now. It made your heart melt just by doing this comparison in your mind.

“What can it be, what can it be…” he chants, looking at the box and then back at you as he slowly unwrapped it. Then, once he is finished, he is met with a limited edition figurine of a character of Digimon that you managed to find after some research, someone selling it back on a website. His eyes open wide, gleaming with surprise and adoration.

“No fucking way ! Are you serious right now ?! No way ! What ?!” he exclaims loudly, as if all energy got summoned back into his body and he opens his mouth wide, turning the box around to look at the figurine. 

“Like it ?” you laugh, crossing your arms behind your back and looking at him lifting the gift towards the sky. He looks back at you.

“If I love it ? Y/n, if I could, I would be marrying you on the damn spot right now,” he says half seriously, half joking, or maybe he wasn’t joking at all. He kisses the box, and then he snakes his arm around your waist to bring you closer to him, and he kisses your cheek loudly in a big exaggerated smooch. You laugh, happy of his reaction and feeling relieved that he liked it that much.

“It’s my dear baby now,” he sighs as he looks at it, then back at you, smirking.

“Take good care of it,” you nod, and he hums as he puts the box on the table, “oh yes I will,” he adds.

“I have another gift,” you cheer, squatting back down to grab the second object. 

“You are spoiling me, I feel like your sugar baby,” Satory says, and you raise an eyebrow at his joke.

“You are the rich one here. That would be more financially accurate if you were the sugar daddy in this relationship,” you correct, and he rolls his eyes, pouting childishly.

“I’m your sugar baby in spirit, then,” he corrects as you extend the smaller box.

“Yeah, that would be. But this one is not a big deal, it’s more like a little bonus,” you explain, and then he smiles as he takes it in his hands. He slowly unwraps it, more carefully, and he discovers a cd with on the transparent box some sweet words with a doddle that you wrote and drew on it.

“You always say how you like my music tastes, and insist on listening to songs with me, so I made a playlist especially on a cd just for you. Most of the songs remind me of you, actually. Listen when you have time,” you describe, and he holds it in his hands as a soft smile forms on his face. 

“How can you be so sweet ? Seriously…,” he sighs, laughing nervously as he rubs his face and looks back at you. “Thank you, Y/n. Really, I mean it. Thank you,” he oh so gently says. He puts back down on the table the cd, and you stand again in front of the railing, looking at the city farther away.

“You’re welcome. But it’s only normal, Satoru,” you give him a smile as you answer, and he leans against the railing too, but instead it’s his back against it. He stares at the moon.

“You make it special. I’m not used to what you call normal”, he lets out a somewhat nervous chuckle, some uneasiness in his voice.

“But, birthdays should be like that,” you whisper, looking at him from the corner of your eye.

“I don’t know. I went to more funerals than anniversaries. And celebrating my birthday is not really… a thing. I don’t have the time to care about it,” Satoru shrugs, nonchalantly, as if it really didn’t matter the slightest and that his indifference wasn’t a big deal.

“I do care,” this time you turn your head to look at him. He stares back at you, and then smiles as he slides his arm before you on the railing, and then brings you closer.

“I know,” he murmurs gently, kissing your hair, “you made me care about it, right now,” he continues, and you lift your face to be at the same eye level as him.

“Mission accomplished successfully, then.” You wink at Satoru, and he nods, letting out a laugh at the same time as you.

“Very successful, actually.”

He looks at your eyes, and you notice how his twinkle from the light of the stars up your head. He brings his hand on your cheek, and softly caresses your cold skin, thumb gently rubbing your lower lip.

“I was serious when I said that it meant so much to me, you know ? You really made me feel vulnerable here,” he whispers, and you feel your heart flutter. You melt a little at his touch.

“Did I ?” you know you did, after all you saw the tears on his eyes, even though Satoru normally never cries. But you didn’t mention it.

“Hmm hmm,” he hums, the corner of his mouth lifting up. He leans slightly towards you, only a breath away.

“You said anything I want for my day ?” he continues, tilting his face slightly, his voice just a murmur and vibrating against your skin. His lips brushes for a second against yours.

“Anything,” you confirm. He narrows his eyes happily, and you knew what he meant.

You softly lift yourself on your tiptoes, slide your arms around his neck and then under the starry sky and magnificent moon, you gently press your lips against his in a tender kiss. They mold on yours, and Satoru lets out a breath of relief when he finally, finally feels your mouth against his. It’s like an apocalypse, heart beating fast in unison and feelings overwhelming. His hands cradle you closer, one around your waist squeezing you tighter. Satoru thought that your kiss was the best gift he could have, to be honest. It was so much sweeter than the strawberry cake, and he already craved more.

Then, as you part slightly away, breath mingled and lips still brushing together, you whisper : 

“Happy Birthday, Satoru.”

THE END

[dxncingwithastrxnger]

let your heart be light (Obey Me!)

A/N: Barbatos' story finally!! This is actually a lot shorter than I originally wanted to be, so if the ending seems a little wonky, then that's why. I just wanted to make sure I had enough time to get Solomon's story out today as well as make sure Sol's story is longer than Barbs' since it's his birthday <3 But this one is still really cute! Enjoy!

Pairing(s): Barbatos x MC

Prompt(s): 8. Barbatos

Summary: MC helps the butler of the castle decorate for Christmas

Tag(s): Just some fluffiness and a little bit of MC trying to be helpful and impress Barbatos :D

Word Count: 608

Song Inspiration: Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas by Michael Buble

Not beta'd, all mistakes are my own.

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[Series Masterlist]

[Read on AO3]

[Author Masterlist]

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[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31]

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It was just a few days into the month of December and the two busiest demons in the Devildom finally found the time to get the castle ready for the holidays up ahead. Of course, they also wanted their favorite human to join them for such an occasion. However, the demon lord still has just a few more things to do that day before he’s fully available, so the first set of decorating tasks are to be done without him, as long as they wait to decorate the trees with me, his favorite part. And so, that’s where the butler and the sorcerer apprentice find themselves that evening, walking through the castle halls with large boxes of decorations both in their arms and trailing behind them, wisps of magic twinkling off of them.

Barbatos hums as they walk, staying close to MC and keeping an eye on them should the pile of boxes they insisted on carrying all of decide to try and topple over. MC is too embarrassed to reveal to him that they used a spell on said boxes just to make sure they could back up their confidence in carrying so many. The demon beside them is one of the few they’d rather not make too much of a fool of themselves in front of. Plus, it’s not like they minded his hovering. Having him close is always a comfort.

“We’ll start with the front hall first. Stoke the fire, hang the garland along the mantle as well as the wall, tie the ribbons to the chandelier, wrap the railings for the stairway in lights, replace the carpet along the stairs with a much more festive design. We’ll ignore the tree in there for now.” The butler informs the human beside him.

MC nods. “Sounds like a plan!”

“We’ll do all of the more public rooms, so to speak, for now, and later on tonight or tomorrow, I’ll finish up all of the other rooms and hallways further into the castle, including the Young Master’s room as well as my own.” The two of them turn the corner into the front hall of the castle. “Though, I wouldn’t mind some company then, either.” He gives MC a subtly hopeful look.

MC grins and sets their boxes down, trying not to look too relieved at getting to do so. “I’ll take that as a personal invitation to join you, then.”

Barbatos chuckles, a happy smile coming to his face. “That was the intention.” He sets his boxes down, the other ones not being carried coming to a stop and landing right by the others. “Now, I’ll take care of the fire, as that’ll be quick. Do you think you could start on the lighted garland that will loop around the walls? There’s already hooks in place, so you only need to worry about reaching them.”

They give him a nod, an excited look in their eyes as they immediately start opening boxes and gathering what they need, the smell of christmas tree flooding out and filling the room quickly. As they stand back up, before they can turn away to do their assigned task, a hand quickly catches their chin before they find warm lips being pressed to their own.

MC kisses back immediately, leaning into the gentle affection happily, a light dusting of pink across their cheeks. When both pull away from the kiss, Barbatos has a matching shade on his own face. The two don’t exchange any words aloud, only sharing a loving look, before they both turn back to what they were doing previously, needing nothing but the warm, content quiet between them.

~*~

A/N: Lemme know what you think!! I'll be posting Solomon's literally right after this one cause it's already written, so watch out for that one if you'd like to read it!!

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[faneliansficaloh]

A Lifetime of Happiness

(Ch 1) (Ch 2) (Ch 3) (Ch 4) (Ch 5) (Ch 6) (Ch 7) (Ch 8)

This is Chapter 9

Notes

----------

4 December 1817

Dear Penelope,

If my memory serves me right, today is Abigail’s birthday. I hope everything is well. I imagine your house to be filled with a celebratory spirit, that is if you’ve chosen to stay there. When I think about you these days, you’re always in the front bench of your house in Surrey, so it didn’t occur to me that you might as well have gone to Kent with your mother or anywhere else.

Isn’t it odd, how a life time of memories with a person can be condensed in the mind to a single moment? A single image that conveys all the feelings and ideas that surround them. You are sitting on a bench and snow is falling and you’re waiting for him.

I wonder how you remember me. Am I still the boy you caused to fall down from his horse, covered in mud? I rather like to think that might be it, and not a version of the desperate man I became through the years. Please remember me laughing at some silly pun. Forget my moments of anger and my desperate pleading, and remember me as I was most often, simply very glad to see you.

Yours, Colin.

1815 – A bright, sunny day.

“Congratulations, you are now the owner of a very small farm in Kent” Marina said from the drawing room sofa where she had been reading a letter.

“What do you mean?” Colin lifted his eyes from the newspaper to look at her, as a log crackled in the fireplace.

“My father has passed away. Apparently, I am to inherit.”

“I’m so sorry about your father. Are you alright?” She seemed surprised and uncomfortable, but not exactly stricken by grief.

Her relationship with her father had been cut off when he sent her to London in the care of the Featheringtons, to find a husband. She had made an unsuccessful attempt to mend things just last summer when they had been in Kent. She had already told Colin how he thought her no better than a harlot as he had found out she had been sneaking around with George, but much too late to make him marry her.

In truth, in her father’s mind it wouldn’t have mattered if George had married her the very next day, he would never forgive her daughter’s lack of virtue. The sin would not be washed away, it made no difference to him that she had acquired a respectable husband and that he had legitimate grandchildren, she had besmirched his name and that was unforgivable.

Now the man had passed, and even when he had rejected her, he still bestowed his earthly possessions upon her. It was not much, as she had mentioned, it was only a small farm and the house on it. As her husband, Colin would have to decide what was to be done with the property, but of course he would do whatever Marina wanted.

“I wonder if he forgot to alter his will” she said in a cold, pensive tone.

“I’m sure he cared for you, Marina.” Colin’s voice was soft, soothing “Men can be too proud to admit love is stronger than their grudges” She nodded, holding back tears now. “I will take care of that for you in time. Just let me know what you wish to be done”

Marina felt a wave of renewed gratitude for Colin’s eagerness to be of service, even if she thought him naive for thinking her father ever loved her.

“Thank you, Colin.” She shook her head slightly as she didn’t have the words to say all she felt. He just nodded and placed a hand on her shoulder, reassuringly. “I should go to Kent for the funeral. Do you think I could stay at Aubrey Hall instead of..?” She could not bear the thought of staying in her father’s house. Whatever happy memories she had once had of the place they were all tainted now by her father’s contempt for her. It had become a haunted place, even before she left.

“Of course. We’ll stay at Aubrey Hall as long as you need. I’ll make the arrangements.”

***

The funeral had been more than a week ago, but there was no reason to endure the trip back to London before the start of the season, so they were staying at Aubrey Hall until then. Marina had been understandably sullen, but everyone had been very tactful and kind to her, more so perhaps, than they had ever been before.

This morning she had gotten up very early and gone to the children’s room still in her night dress. Apparently she had no plans to go down for breakfast. When Colin entered the nursery, she was looking through the window, pensively.

“Good morning” Colin entered the room and went directly to the children, who were noisily, and precariously wobbling around. He went down on one knee to receive Oliver in his arms as the boy moved excitedly towards him when he saw him enter the room. Amanda was too engrossed playing with a toy near the sofa.

“You know, there is no reason you should stay” Marina said after a while, turning around to look at them.

“Where am I to go, exactly?” He responded, without turning his attention from the children.

“I mean with me, you do not need to be stuck with me. I can take care of them on my own” He turned around, insulted, because clearly it was her who felt stuck with him.

“I will not leave you, Marina. When will you understand that?” He was growing tired of having the same conversation.

She moved away from the window to be in front of him. “That is not what I meant. You mentioned some time ago that you wanted to travel, perhaps you should do that. Ollie and Amy will hardly notice” He was ready to protest “I only mean that they’re too little to form real memories. I see you every day growing restless and drifting about and it drives me insane. Whatever it is you need, I am not—Maybe some time away will help?”

“Oh, my apologies.” He said, deeply hurt “I forgot I am only welcome around you when I can be useful to you.”

“Colin, don’t be ridiculous! Just think about it.” She sounded worn out, it was obvious she was also incredibly tired of the constant friction between them.

“I think we’re going for a walk” He got up, impulsively, taking Oliver in his arms since the boy had been holding on to his hand.

Colin made his way out without responding to Marina or looking back.

It was, for everyone else, a perfect, sunny morning. Penelope had set out for a stroll in the gardens, with Rae, her Lady’s maid in tow as she had been given specific instructions by Mrs. Varley that she should not let the young miss out of her sight for the entirety of their stay at Aubrey Hall.

As they walked near the hedges, Penelope noticed noise coming from the other side, so she went around and found Colin, who for some reason was sitting directly on the grass with one of the babies and a remarkably sour face.

“Colin, what are you doing here? Are you two here on your own?” She looked around, there was no one else in sight.

“Pen!” He took a bit too long to respond to her questions, he had not expected to see her there “I felt we needed to take advantage of the good weather after being cooped up all winter” He offered her a weak, unconvincing smile.

“Isn’t the grass damp? Didn’t you at least bring a blanket?” She was looking at him as if he had gone mad.

“I did not consider that in my plans, as you can see”

“Or did you just rush out without a plan at all?” She suspected he had rushed away from Marina. She knew she was in mourning but Marina’s character seemed to harden when she was sad, which tended to clash with the soft nature of Colin’s own character.

“Whatever paints me in the better light” He avoided looking at her.

“Rae, would you please go fetch a blanket for Mr. Bridgerton?” Rae hesitated, for she didn’t want to break her word to Mrs Varley. but Penelope gave her a defying look and since the child was there she saw no harm in it, she would just have to be quick.

Penelope put down her shawl and extended it over the grass as a makeshift blanket while they waited, and got down on the ground to have Oliver relocated over it.

“Here! The sun might be bright, but we don’t want anyone to catch a cold now, do we?” She looked at Colin as she held on to Oliver’s hands while he wobbled up on his little legs, smiling brightly and babbling excitedly. “Do you want to tell me what happened or would you rather sulk in silence?”

“She wants me gone.” He said with a tight smile “She tried to make it sound like it was my wish to travel, so I should just go away”

“But you have always wanted to travel, have you not?” She failed to see the issue. Oliver had decided to sit and try to pull out the grass at the edge of the shawl, next to her.

He removed his cravat and started knotting it. “But that is not really why she… We have disagreements, and her only solution is to simply send me away, no compromises offered, nothing, let’s just get rid of me and that will fix everything.” He sighed, rubbing his face “I’m sorry. I must sound insane.”

“I am sure she would not--” Colin leaned in to give the cravat ball to Oliver to play with and without returning to his previous position he interrupted her, before she could make up a justification for Marina. She always did, based on her own views. Penelope simply did not know Marina as he did and believed her to be as reasonable as herself.

“Pen, the truth is she doesn’t even like me half as well as you do. And I--” His eyes fixed longingly on her face, there was an ache in his heart.

She noticed his stare, and with the most innocent surprise in her eyes, uttered his name. “Colin --” but he didn’t let her finish her sentence. The sound of his name in her lips and the smell of her perfume was a sweeter combination to him than anything in the world, all else faded from existence. It was simply inevitable.

He reached out to caress her cheek and bring her face closer and then softly brushed her lips with his, before slowly tasting them, until he could not resist invading her mouth completely. It was exhilarating when he noticed she hadn’t pulled away but was actually returning his kiss. It was pure perfection. It felt good and right, this was it. It had to be, could not be anything but love, actual love. Everything else had been an illusion, a poor imitation.

It was a perfect kiss on a perfect late February morning, on a perfect Wednesday.

It had been like gasping for air after holding a breath for a torturous long time. For Colin, at least. Penelope had long stopped dreaming of such a thing, but he had been dreaming of this moment for months now– not exactly like this, of course, but something very similar. The feeling in his heart had crept into place like a vine, it had been slow and confusing, but ultimately unstoppable. He could no longer try to pass it off as anything else.

He wasn’t sure exactly when it was that he started to truly appreciate the deep blue of her eyes, how agreeable to his ears the sound of her laughter was and how prettily her hair shone in the sunlight as it adorned her pale shoulders. But then Marina had made that callous comment one night and it forced his eyes open. It had been like coming out from an absolute dark cave into a bright, sunny day. It was a little painful and getting used to seeing things so clearly had taken some time, until he could finally focus and make them out completely.

He had come to the realization that no one knew him like Penelope did, no two sensibilities could be so attuned to each other as theirs, they shared the same sense of humour and her mind was a source of inspiration, her presence was his happiness. And she was there that morning, beautiful, bright, playful and so attentive and kind with Oliver.

As they pulled apart, she slowly came to a terrible realization herself. It had finally happened, the reason why her mother insisted she should not go about unchaperoned. It turned out that despite how much she scoffed at the idea of her virtue being in any danger in such familiar places, she had been right. Her mother was right, the world was surely coming to an end.

“Have you gone mad!” Eloise shrieked at the sight. They were no longer kissing but his hand still remained on her cheek and their foreheads were still together. She recovered from her initial shock, apparently because she tried to lower her voice “I cannot believe this! And in front of your own child!” She was carrying a parasol and pointed at them with it, accusingly.

“Eloise, it’s not…”

“That I am unmarried does not mean I do not recognize the nature of this... impropriety!” she said, waiving the accusatory parasol at their general vicinity.

“Please! It’s nothing” Penelope said, raising away from Colin and reaching out to Eloise, who instinctively backed a step away.

“It is not nothing, Penelope. It certainly cannot be nothing to you!” The weight of shame was unbearable, Penelope had to go away. She could see Rae coming back over from the house too, so she tried to act normal as she swiftly walked away.

“Penelope, wait!” Colin tried to stop her but it was too late. “You are right Eloise, it shouldn’t have happened”

“How long has this been going on?” She said, throwing the parasol to her side and picking up Oliver in her arms.

“There is nothing going on… it was just one kiss, a momentary lapse in judgement” He half lied. “There has not been anything else, quit imagining things. You know we would never--”

“That I don’t know!” Her countenance grew even more serious, which had seemed impossible to him and she approached him, lowering her voice, hissing “You cannot do this to Penelope. She does not deserve for you to keep toying with her feelings. Whatever is wrong with your marriage, brother, I beg of you, let Penelope out of it. I am sick of this blindness of yours and how everyone else is so accommodating of it; it has been going on for far too long, and you’re no longer a young boy, so allow me to open your eyes: You have broken her heart one too many times already, and so badly, it is a wonder to me she can still endure spending even a minute in your presence, but apparently, such is love that she would endure anything for you. Please! Please stop this madness. She deserves much more than you would ever be able to offer her, but she will follow you to hell if you drag her there with you. You cannot want that”. She paused and gently left Oliver beside him. “You know I’m right”.

And she left, all fists and fury, almost running, leaving him without air to breathe.

“You said no more secrets! You promised!” she had caught up to Penelope. Thankfully she had decided against going into the house.

“Rae, would you please give us a moment?” The lady’s maid wondered if something had happened while she was fetching the blanket. She cursed the Bridgerton’s maid that had stopped to question her. Those Bridgerton servants all looking down on her as if she weren’t a proper lady’s maid. Mrs. Varley would fire her, surely, it was clear both misses were very upset. But nothing could be gained now from refusing the two ladies space to discuss whatever was ailing them, so once again she followed her mistress’ wishes and went to stand a prudent distance away.

“Eloise, I swear to you that I have not been hiding anything from you! I don’t even know what just happened… I had no intention... I was just out for a stroll and I found them, he seemed to be having a bit of trouble with the children so I was just trying to help and then...” Eloise reached out and hugged her as she was clearly shaking.

“It’s alright, it’s alright. Believe me Pen, I do understand” Penelope just let out a desperate sigh and she groaned “I’m so sorry I dragged you here with us. I was sure they weren’t coming, I would have never put you in this position, had I known. But, Pen, seriously, you have to move on. It cannot be and I will not have you go to waste like that”

“I feel like I’ve gone insane, El”

Eloise responded rather abruptly “Do you really hope to become a mistress, to marry a divorced man in the best case?”

“Of course not!” She was aghast. The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind. It had only been a kiss. Her first kiss. She was both happy and enormously sad that it had been Colin. It was a Faustian wish.

“I know you’re a much stronger person than I am, and If I was able to let go, I hope you can too, for your own good.” She tried to smile.

“El, I don’t know what to say” She knew Eloise must be referring to Mr. Sharpe.

“And mind you, he wasn’t married” Eloise’s grimace turned into a full frown.

Penelope grew worried. “El, did you and Mr. Sharpe--?”

“No! Almost, but I came into my senses”

“Oh” She nodded, at a loss for words.

“We’ve always thought ourselves so clever but we are just a couple of fools, you and I, aren’t we?”

“It appears so” She said with a sigh.“But El, I don’t think your brother meant anything by it, really. I think he must have gotten confused in the moment. You should not be fretting about any untoward, ridiculous possibilities, he loves Marina.”

The blindness was apparently contagious, thought Eloise. They had started walking aimlessly, in silence.

The more Penelope thought about it, however much she would love to get carried away in a fantasy, she grew more and more convinced that Colin had only acted on an impulse not brought up by her, but by whatever he was dealing with at the moment and she had just been conveniently within reach. He had clearly been in an argument with Marina. Perhaps having spent so much time together lately had caused some confusion in him, but going so far as to consider that he would ask her to be his mistress was absolutely preposterous.

“Perhaps I should get married” She let out after a prolonged silence. “I mean, try in earnest now” Penelope knew this would upset Eloise more than anything else she could have said, but she couldn’t help herself and just blurted it out. It seemed like the best course of action to both move on and avoid any further confusion on all sides.

“Why must marriage always be the only recourse we have to get out of these impossible situations that are imposed on us? It’s infuriating, it’s simply not fair!”

“I suppose I could just run away and live off my Whistledown earnings” She said rather casually

“Have you made enough to consider that, really?” Eloise’s eyes grew big with incredulity.

“I gather it would be a modest life, but I could make it work. I wouldn’t need but a small cottage and not as many dresses as I settle into spinsterhood in some remote part of the country. I’ve never been to Cornwall” She said almost truly considering it.

“Oh, that sounds lovely! Would you take me with you?” she made a pleading gesture that would have been impossible to resist if it hadn’t been for a daydream of a hypothetical future.

“I Wouldn’t dare to go anywhere without you.” Both chuckled.

Eloise’s face grew sad with the reality of it “But you would be unhappy. As much as it pains me to admit it, I know that you do enjoy society, in your own peculiar, twisted way”

“That is true. If only to keep making money” She pursed her lips, but Eloise was right. She enjoyed the pageantry of the balls, and the gossip, of course. But being a part of high society also afforded them the opportunity to know and learn about the people that shaped not only society at large, but the country itself through parliament, and of course the easy access to art in all its forms – theatre, opera, galleries and libraries were always part of their social season, not to mention the lavish dinners. Penelope had been paying close attention to the servants' conversations for the last two years in her quest for every drop of gossip unknown to the elite, so she had become acutely aware of the actual privileges that came with being a part of the Ton. Eloise on the other hand, had probably never given any thought at how all these things were not part of everyday life for everyone -particularly not destitute women that retired into obscurity- she only thought of the social season as merely parties and superfluous frills. High society might be a cage for the young ladies in it, but it was a comfortable cage with a beautiful view at least.

“But you do not need to get married to make money, do you? You have managed that on your own so far” Eloise remarked, smugly.

“I might want to have my own family as well, El.” Penelope was sure Eloise would have never guessed that about her, and she was probably right because Eloise seemed to falter but made a quick recovery.

“Well, apparently you don’t need to get married for that, either” she gave her a knowing look.

“Eloise!”

“I’m joking, of course.” She laughed but grew silent for a moment, before sighing and saying “If you truly want to get married, then do so. But know that I will never speak to you again if you marry someone who does not appreciate you”

“So you’d forsake me when I would be needing you the most?”

“Alright, that was a bluff, but I truly mean it. Do not settle into a horrible marriage just to get away from my stupid brother”

“You know I cannot promise I will gain the love of another, El”

“If Prudence managed to get a proposal from a decent man in just a couple of months Pen, how hard can it truly be?” Penelope Laughed. Mr. Dankworth had truly fallen for Prudence very quickly during their time in Kent. She wasn’t so sure that Prudence was more than fond of him, but as their mother said, at least she was married now, and he did seem to be a good man and of his love for her sister she had no doubt.

“I think I might need a whole new wardrobe” She looked down on her yellow muslin dress, flicking the gaudy rosette on her sleeve “and perhaps a whole new personality, too” She grinned

“That’s nonsense!” But Eloise gave it a little consideration and in a tentative tone added “Well, the wardrobe might be a good idea, and maybe some new hairstyles?” She cringed a little “But there is not a thing wrong with you Pen. You just need to be a little... less shy? You are the Lady Whistledown, you are far too interesting to shy away from anyone”

“I cannot well work that fact into conversation, Eloise! If there is anyone with any less prospects for marriage than me it’s Lady Whistledown” Both laughed at the thought

“What I mean is, you should remember that. You have no reason to be intimidated by anyone”

“Not even Cressida Cowper?”

“Especially not Cressida!”

Chapter 10

[hanistylum]

Life update.

July 8, 2023 I ended the relationship mentioned back in March 2022.

December 10, 2022 he proposed and after that his actions stopped matching his words.

What ended the relationship, the final straw, was being blamed for allowing a man come between us. To give some context he was living at home with his mom, grandma, and aunt. In April 2023 the aunt tells everyone that her boyfriend of a month is moving in. I warned that there would be consequences to that man moving in. I said I would no longer be spending the night while he was under the same roof. The man gave me an ick and there was seriously something wrong with him that I couldn’t place and it bothered me. My warnings went on deaf ears.

We were to move in with each other in to our own place and then that changed 2 weeks before move in day. His mom said “you can’t move I need you here to help financially” with that he chose his mom over me his fiancé. I didn’t make that decision he made easy for him.

Things started not going so well for us after that. I stopped wearing my ring unless I was on FaceTime with him or was with him in person there were many times I kept my left hand out of frame so he wouldn’t see I wasn’t deleting it.

Come June 30 I had a horrible day at work and had no interest to talk to anyone not even my parents. I came home and decided to wash my car in silence and away from people and communication. I got in the pool when I was done and when I got out I saw he called me. I call him back and this was the dialog:

Him: why didn’t you answer your phone, mom is in the hosital

Me: when did you find that out (he had a tendency to tell me news hours/days after the fact)

Him: I just found out right as I got home

Me: is she okay?

Him: I don’t know. Why didn’t you answer your phone?

Me: I had a shit day at work and had zero desire to talk to anyone even mom and dad.

Him: you should’ve sent me a text about it. You know you haven’t touched me in weeks

Me: sorry i haven’t been in the mood

Him: you’re letting a simple man come between us. He’s a nobody and because he lives here you’re punishing me

Me: I’m letting a simple man come between us! Are you serious right now! I told you I wasn’t going to stay over anymore if he moved in.

Him: we’ll talk about this tomorrow because we’re both going to say things we don’t mean

I hung up so fast after that. The next morning I had a project I needed to focus on and I told him I was doing that and he responded with “you’re more concerned about a project than working on us. I’m disappointed I wasn’t your first thought this morning”. I didn’t respond to that. Later that day I call him to talk and he refused my call 4 times. He sends me a text saying he was too upset to talk and will need a few days to figure out what he wants to do. I didn’t hear from him for 7 days.

On July 3 I knew I wouldn’t hear from him as it was the 2 year anniversary of his grandpas passing. In July 4 I knew I wouldn’t hear from him as it was that grandpas birthday. So that’s 2 days I knew I would hear from him. But to not hear from him for 7 days I was not going to wait any longer and made the decision based on his behavior to end the relationship. I wanted to speak to him in person about it and be civil about it but his mentality was if he ignored it then the problem would go away. Fine, he ignored it long enough that I did something about it.

On July 8, 2023 I sent him back all of his belongings and repurchased and replaced anything I left at his house. I had my parents stone removed from the custom ring as he only paid $150 towards the $2,300 stone and sent him the band that he laid in full for and returned the $150 in cash he paid towards the stone. I wrote a 3 page letter explaining why I made my decision. And that ended my engagement.

Since July 8, 2023 dating has been quite difficult. I’ve had a few dates. A guy who was not financially stable who wouldn’t even let me buy the dinner and only ate the free chips and drank the free water. Went on a date with a history teacher with absolutely zero personality. Went on a date with a guy twice and he was emotionally unstable who then blows up my phone and yells at me on the phone. Even got stood up by a hook up. Had a few guys reschedule/cancel.

[boldlyvoid]

No Longer Alone Together

Part One | Masterlist

Sunday, November 27th, 2022: The Recap

She’s standing in the bathroom, it’s a cold November morning, evident by how frigid the tiles are on her bare feet. She’s up because the kids are in her bed now, Spencer isn’t home, the world is still quiet but her mind was not. She has so much to do, she doesn’t feel good at all and she thinks she knows exactly why… its just the worst time ever to go through the first trimester again. 

Last December it was hectic as all hell with 3 kids. Atlas turned 7 just 5 days before Christmas, his birthday always took priority over the month, but this year she was nervous she wouldn’t be able to give him all the attention he deserves… Not when she’s currently gripping the kitchen sink like her life depends on it, nauseous as ever, waiting for this pregnancy test to tell her what she already knows. 

They weren’t actively trying… though, when were they ever? They’ve never used protection in their time together, resulting in Atlas in 2014, Noelle in February 2016 and little Luna in September 2019. There was a big gap between having Luna and taking this pregnancy test… not that they weren’t having sex in that time, they were just too busy dealing with COVID and zoom school and young immune systems every single day for almost 3 years. 

Life was stressful enough as it was with 3 kids under 10, they didn’t need a newborn on top of it all while the world was shut down… at least Y/N didn’t want that right now.

On the other hand, Spencer was sharing his seed with anyone who asked for it.

She liked to phrase it that way as if it wasn’t just her best friend and her wife who wanted Spencer’s sperm to have a genius family of their own. It always made her laugh to see people's reactions to finding out Spencer now had 2 kids with another woman and that Y/N babysat said baby from time to time. 

At the height of the pandemic, Emily and Laura were locked away in their DC mansion wishing they had a baby or two to share their time with… Laura always knew they wanted to be pregnant one day, she was fully ready to book an appointment with a clinic and look through books of donors when the world shut down. 

Emily, ever the planner, said: “if you want a smart and cute kid, we should ask Spencer to be our donor and we’ll do it right here at home, just me and you and the turkey baster.” 

Only the last part was a joke… until the device they bought to help do the inseminating looked a lot like a turkey baster. 

Emily and Spencer always joked about being siblings separated at birth, she cared for him like a big sister and he’d kill for her if he had to. He almost did during the Scratch era of their hell job… So when Emily asked Spencer if he’d ever considered donating his sperm to help her make a family, he didn’t have to think too hard about it. 

Asking Y/N if she was okay with it was the hard part for him, for some reason he really thought she’d have a problem with it… but it was actually quite fun helping him provide a sample in a cup. With Emily and Laura doing it on their own without doctors' help, not wanting to go to a doctor's office during the pandemic, it took a few tries, and then they had Peter Joseph, better known around their house as little PJ, in February 2021. 

Now Laura is pregnant again, at 35 weeks currently and on baby watch for all of Christmas, her due date is 1st of January, 2023 but you can’t really expect a second baby to come on time… the BAU family was all placing bets on just when this new Prentiss baby was going to join their ranks, Y/N thinks the baby might even get to share a birthday with Atlas. 

Derek also had a son right after they had Noelle. Hank Spencer Morgan was adorable, it must come with the name. JJ and Will had Michael not too long after, rounding their total to 3 kids which made them try for Luna to even it up again. 

Before Spence left the FBI for good, they had a few new members join too, one of which was a lovely man named Matt who had a wife and 4 kids, they had their 5th right before Spencer quit— literally about a month before the accident that decided it all for them. 

Much like JJ and Will, they had agreed early on that if things at work got to be too much, if what happened with Hotch ever started to happen to them, then Spencer would quit. They never expected it to actually happen, then Spencer was caught in an explosion, he went down hard and came home feeling fine. But he wasn’t fine. 

Finding Spencer unconscious on the floor was the scariest thing she’s ever been through and poor Atlas saw it too. 

They called 911, and Spencer was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance while she had to stay behind with the kids and wait for someone to come and watch them before she could follow him. It took 20 minutes for Will to show up, 20 minutes that felt like hell on earth, and then she was at his bedside for 2 days. 

With Diana and Liam there too, they held Spencer's hands after surgery and waited way too long to see if he’d ever wake up again. It was a slow brain bleed, he was lucky his wife was coming home to find him, otherwise who knows how long he would’ve been on the floor, waiting for help, unable to ask for it himself. 

He didn’t go back to work after that, he recovered at home with his babies and decided that he was going to stay there with them for good. He loved being a stay-at-home dad, it allowed Y/N to take up more hours at the museum again and he got to do crafts and take adventures and watch them grow up. It was fun until the kids both started school, Luna was still really little and day trips to the science centre and big crafts weren’t really her speed. He was bored most of the days when the house was empty and quiet during nap times…

So he wrote a book. 

Almost like an autobiography, he took the things that happened to him in his first few years of being an agent and turned it into a Sherlock Holmes-style novel. Retelling the adventures of Dr. Sebastian Reeves and his colleagues at the FBI, getting caught in the middle of a serial killer's sick games… Fishing For A King was published on October 14th, 2021 and the sequel, Where Dead Men Rise was just released, taking Spencer away on his first-ever book tour around the country. 

Which is why he’s not home currently. He’s not beside her for the first time ever as she takes a pregnancy test… Instead, he’s doing book signings, TED talks and being interviewed by every news outlet in North America. And tomorrow he’s on Jimmy fucking Fallon. What?? It was insane how much their little life has changed since 2013.  

You see, normally when they planned for a baby they were testing all the time, they always caught it early… this time they didn’t plan at all, she wasn’t testing because she didn’t expect it at all but then the nightmares started up again. Her boobs hurt, she could smell everything from a mile away and she wanted to cry all day long over everything and nothing at all… she knew exactly when she got pregnant too, and even joked about it right after he pulled out for a matter of fact… 

They had some of the best sex of their life at the start of Spencer's press tour thanks to Aunty Penny who watched the kids so she could go to New York with him. It was the first time in 7 years that they’d been completely alone for more than a few hours and they spent all of their free time in bed. Of course, she got pregnant, and they were so fucking happy, it was just like in the beginning. 

The test is positive. 

The brightest positive she’s ever seen, too, seeing as it’s been over a month since she saw Spencer last, she was a lot more pregnant now than she was with any of the other kids, when she saw their first positive tests it was after 1-2 weeks… right now she’s about 8 or 9 weeks pregnant. 

She’s going to have 4 kids. 

They’re going to be a family of 6. 

They were catching up to the Simmons, slowly but surely… hopefully, this isn’t twins cause then they’d match up perfectly. 

She puts the test in the cabinet behind the mirror, knowing the kids can’t get into it so they’d never see it. They knew what it was, at least the older two did. Being 6 and almost 8, they remembered when she was pregnant with Luna in 2019. They had their dad’s memory after all. 

The kids are up and in her bed, the girls cuddled into each side of their brother as he holds their iPad in the middle, his legs crossed with his cute little toes moving to the music on his show. She found a cartoon Santa Clause series from the early 2000s and put it on for them, they have watched almost the whole first season in the last few days. It’s so cute seeing them so peaceful and happy together, getting excited for their favourite time of year. 

They’ve been sleeping in bed with her a lot without daddy being home. They wanted to call him the moment they woke up, but being in LA now meant they couldn’t. They didn’t understand at first, so she had to get out the globe from Spencer’s office and taught them about timezones and how the earth moves around the sun while rotating on an axis, making a 24-hour day.  

Holding her phone flashlight up, she pretended it was the sun in their very dark room (it was 6am.) they understood from then on that when daddy was on the other side of America, he was 3 hours behind them and probably still asleep, so they had to wait for him to wake up and call them.

“You guys hungry?” She asks as she walks back over to the bed. 

They all nod and scramble to pause their video so they can jump out of bed and race her down the stairs. They each get their choice between Eggos and scrambled eggs or cereal and fruit, she ends up making them all scrambles and waffles with some cut-up grapes and orange juice just to round it into a full meal. 

Thanks to an episode of the Waltons one night, the kids have started saying a sort of grace before every meal.

“Dear father, we miss you, we hope you’re having a good day in Los Angeles and that mommy lets us watch your interview show tomorrow,” Atlas leads. 

“And bring us back something cool,” Noelle teases with a smirk. 

“Can he hear us when we do this?” Luna whispers across the table to her big brother who just shrugs, having no clue what they’re doing, they just want to wish their dad a good day while he’s gone. 

She doesn’t have the heart to tell them that they say dear father as a way to talk to god, to bless their family and their food and insure that good things come to them… they weren’t a religious household in the slightest, but if the kids wanted to be spiritual in their own way and send a blessing out for their dad, who was she to stop them? 

They have little conversations with each other that just amaze her, she somehow created 3 amazing little geniuses with the biggest hearts to match. Much like her, Atlas was into dinosaurs for a while, he was often asking to come to work with her on weekends and snow days off from school, he would give anything to dig something up and learn about it all day. He collects rocks, he knows everything about space and the moon (which is just a big rock) and he plans to work at the Smithsonian one day too… just on the Air and Space side. 

And he probably will, seeing as he has his dad's genius brain after all. He’ll probably be able to get a Ph.D. or two by the time he’s 25. 

Noelle is more into learning how things work and move, she loves the cars movie franchise and thus all things with wheels. She’s been spending a lot of time with Henry and Michael, playing Tony Hawk games on the play station which caused them to build a skate ramp in the backyard while Will wasn’t looking and using her as the test dummy. 

She broke her arm in 2 places and the cast comes off next week, with just enough time for Spencer to come home and sign it before they cut it off. 

Luna, on the other hand, she wouldn’t be caught dead near a bike or anything that can get her dirty. She’s always been very meticulous, she learned fine motor skills long before she wanted to walk, which wasn’t helpful when babies also love putting things in their mouths. Spencer’s knowledge of CPR came in handy a few times, unfortunately. Now she’s 4 and her attention to detail is mainly spent on legos which she has learned don’t go in her nose, mouth, ears or anything thing that’s not lego branded… 

She has the LEGO art pieces that match the art at mom's work, they’re her favourite. She’s also started to draw a lot, she was probably going to be their artist. 

The 3 of them are so incredibly different yet so wondrously alike. They absorb knowledge like a sponge, they respect each other's talk time, and they butt heads often, but they never hate each other. Fights never last long. They end with hugs and apologies and understanding that they’re all learning how to be good people and mistakes are bound to happen. 

That was always their fear when they became parents; that their kids wouldn’t get along. You see, not having siblings meant that Y/N and Spencer didn’t know what it was like. From what they knew about JJ, she took her sister for granted till it was too late and wished every day that she still had her around. Then there’s Hotch, he loved his brother but they were so different and had such an age difference that now they never talk. 

They didn’t want that for their own kids. So seeing them so happy together, they were best friends and co-conspirators, 3 unstoppable forces that could band together within the blink of an eye… How was she going to add a 4th to their already perfect group without it disrupting everything?

“Are you guys excited for Aunt Laura to have her baby soon?” She cuts into the lull in their conversations, thinking that was a good segue. She wanted to know their thoughts on having another baby in the family without asking them outright. 

“I’m excited,” Luna answers with a sweet smile, “I want it to be a girl cousin.” 

“Me too,” Noelle agrees. “Mama, do they know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?” 

“I’m not sure,” she genuinely didn’t know. “I think they’re keeping it a surprise.” 

“Like a present,” Luna says, often vocalizing every thought she had, as always. 

“Yeah… speaking of, on December first we’ll really start to celebrate, but what if we used this time while daddy is away to go get his Christmas presents?”  

“So we don’t have to worry about him seeing it?” Atlas completely understood and his smile told her he was on board. 

She nods, “yeah, we can go out today if you guys want?” 

They all chant a very enthusiastic yes, bouncing in their seats with excitement. 

They celebrate Christmas and a little bit of Hanukkah with Emily and Laura most years, the All-idays party was also coming up, which meant they all had to get another present for that… before they get dressed and ready to head out, she keeps them at the kitchen table with a piece of lined paper and asks them what kind of gifts they want to get for their family members. 

“Because Christmas is about a lot more than just a man in a red suit giving you guys things, it’s about showing everyone in your life how much you love them, as well,” mom explains, like every Christmas, but this year they seem to understand it a lot better.  

For white elephant they each had to bring in a gift, something that could be picked and stolen and loved by the person who eventually ends up with it. So they had to brainstorm some really good gift ideas that everyone else in their family group would like.

Each year the list of guests gets longer, this year there are 10 cousins, possibly 11 depending on when Laura goes into labour, and that’s not even including Y/N’s 3. Soon to be 4. 

Thats 15 BAU kids… 16 if you count Jack, but they’re not coming this year, perfectly happy back in Seattle with Hailey’s extended family. 

They needed to also consider all their aunts, uncles, and grandparents… it was so many people. Thank god uncle Dave had a big house. 

They get all bundled up for their trip to the mall and go over their rules of being out in public on the drive over. They have to always be touching the kart or holding each other's hands, they can’t walk away from Mommy even if they’re excited about something, they have to bring her to the excitement so she doesn’t lose them. And they know scary people do exist and not everyone out there is kind for good reasons. They’re hyper-vigilant, they stick together and they’re always rewarded with a sweet treat at the end of the day because of it. 

Spencer calls when they’re in the middle of the game store, shopping for the older kids, like Henry, Jake or David, getting them a new game for the switch, which everyone has. She has to decline the call cause the store is too loud and hectic, sending him a quick text saying they’re out right now and she’ll call back soon… but with so many things in her hands and 3 kids to watch over all alone. 

She forgets until they’re home later that night, after getting dinner at Mcdonald's in front of the TV, they’re watching Harry Potter for the first time when Daddy calls again. 

Atlas sees her phone light up with Spencer’s face behind the FaceTime caller ID, she’s in the kitchen cleaning ketchup off Noelle's cast, so he picks up for his mom. 

“Hi, daddy,” he brightens right up, Luna comes running to his side, shouting his name at him with excitement. 

“Hello munchkins, where have you been? Mama said she’d call me earlier and then she never did?” 

“We went out and then got McDonald's,” he turns the FaceTime around and shows the carpet picnic happening in front of the TV. “Mom is helping Noa get some ketchup off her cast, it fell out of her burger and landed right on it.” 

“We should sue McDonald's, then I guess,” he teases making them laugh. “Did you have fun at the mall? Did you get any gifts for Grandma and Grandpa?” 

“And for you but we can’t tell you what it is,” Atlas explains, “we promised mommy.” 

“Yeah, pinky promised,” Luna gives even more detail. “And you know about those…” 

“I’m so excited to open it, do you know how many days there are till Christmas left?” Spencer asks, they’ve been counting down since after Thanksgiving. 

They take the phone running into the kitchen, where the countdown exists on the fridge, showing him that there were 27 days left. 

“What are you— oh gosh, Spence, I’m sorry, I never called you back!” Y/N calls out when she realizes what the kids are doing with her phone. 

She’s drying off her hands before she lifts Noelle off the counter and back to the ground, Atlas hands her the phone and Spencer explains how it’s fine, he just wanted to check-in. They catch up in the kitchen for a few moments alone, only to go back out to the living room and finish dinner. The movie is paused, and they set him up on her laptop instead of the phone, the kids all sharing memories from the day with their dad… they missed him so much, they never wanted to hang up but it was bedtime.  

“I miss you, daddy,” Luna sighed, resting her head on her brother's shoulder so they could all fit in the frame. 

“I miss you, too, looney tunes,” he tries not to get too choked up. “Just a couple more days and then I’m coming home and I’m snuggling you all for hours, you’re going to be sick of me with how much love I’m going to give you.” 

She laughs because she knows it’s true, she’s heard him cry on the phone too many times about having, what he could only equate to mom guilt, about not being home with them again when they’re so used to it. He missed them. He missed watching them grow. He felt horrible that he wasn’t there for Noelle in the hospital when she got her cast, he missed Halloween, Thanksgiving and Henry's birthday… he felt horrible without them. 

But the kids have school tomorrow, so they can’t stay up late to talk to their daddy. He lets them go just in time to have a bath and head to bed, only to call back 2 hours later that for his alone time with his wife. She answers with her headphones in, all 3 kids in her bed on Spencers side, missing him too much to sleep alone, sound asleep all cuddled into each other already. 

They whisper their goodnights, he reminds her just how much he loves her and sends her a kiss all the way from the other side of America. “Did you get it?” He whispers, even though he didn’t have to. 

She nods, touching her cheek with a smile. “I love you, Spence… Thursday can’t come fast enough.”

[orphaned-kiirokero]

Outro: Love is Not Over (Epilogue)

Pairing: Daycare Teacher! Hoseok x Single Mom! Reader.

Genre: Single Parent! AU, Teacher! AU, Hybrid! AU, Fluff, Angst, Adorable Kids,

Warnings: Um, Hoseok cries but they’re happy tears, like very brief mentions of kids without parents. 

Word Count: 4.3k

Note: Oh no.. Writing this made me sad :( It’s really over? (I don’t know why I’m asking that... I’m the author...)

Summary: Years after a relationship goes south. You are the single mother of a beautiful 6-year-old golden retriever hybrid who you named Yunho. He is the light of your life. Yunho is everything to you, and you’d do anything for him. But you’re a human. Yunho doesn’t care, he will tell you he doesn’t. “You’re still my Eomma. No matter what.” He says. But you can’t help but feel like you will never be enough for him. You can’t be the mother he deserves. You can’t show him the ropes of being a hybrid, and you can’t teach him things the other moms can. But you try. You try your damn hardest. So, when a handsome German Shepard hybrid comes into your life, helping you and guiding Yunho in a way you can’t, you can’t help the cozy home he sets up in your heart.

Chapter Guide:

Previous / The End ❁

Masterlist

I’m not a morning person. 

Never have been. 

   I used to dread the signs of a new day. I used to go to bed and groan at the thought of the sun peering through my curtains and calling me back to the real world. I’d curse the morning birds and their repetitive song and roll my eyes at the overly cheerful morning news host, who obviously sported a fake smile every time she was on air. 

The only reason I used to wake up was for Yunho. 

   When my alarm went off, my first thoughts were getting Yunho ready for the new day, so he didn’t have to hate it like I did. I’d wake him up, help him choose his outfit for the day, make his breakfast while he got dressed, and send him off to school. With a genuine smile. Even if I wasn’t a morning person, I’d be one for him. 

But things are different now. 

   The sun peeked its soft, pale yellow rays through the sheer ivory curtains that covered the windows of our bedroom. The sun’s warmth laid over my face like the hand of a mother trying to rouse its child from sleep. I was familiar with the motion. Several birds sung their morning tune, perched up on bare branches as they serenaded the woods like they have been since the first time they peeped. It was winter, meaning the birds have migrated to warmer places, although Busan’s climate didn’t make it feel like such. Yes, it was cold, but it was no winter wonderland.  

   Despite the slight chill outside and the slightly cloudy skies, everything felt pleasantly warm. Like the house was on its own schedule, changing seasons whenever it deemed necessary. It felt like the perfect April spring day under the white sheets of our bed, wrapped in a pair of gentle, slightly tanned arms. My body cradled in the embrace of my shirtless lover. 

   “Ma! Hobi! Wake up!” A giggle voice called, followed by the patter of running feet. Hoseok and I grumbled, playfully ignoring the hybrid and snuggling deeper into the covers. We heard Yunho scoff as we held back our giggles, waiting for him to do what he always did. He indulged our silent expectations. Yunho jumped up on the bed, shaking the mattress and us as he hopped up and down, laughing. 

   I relented and peeked my eyes open. My heart softened when I saw Yunho’s smile (Which was missing a couple of teeth) “Well, good morning to you too,” I chuckled, moving to sit up. “No...” a gruff voice from beside me grumbled. Hoseok tightened his arms around my figure, trying to persuade me back down in bed so he could snuggle me more. 

   I smiled, petting his bed head as compensation for my utterly rude movement. He grumbled again, opting to just snuggle into my side. “Hobi!! Wake up!” Yunho whined, bounding over to the older hybrid, jumping on top of him and grabbing his face with his hands, which were comically smaller. Hoseok let out a little “oomph” sound before he let Yunho move his head around and poke at his cheeks. 

   Hoseok’s eyes were still closed, but the heart-shaped smile that graced his face gave off waves of happiness. “Okay, champ, I’m awake,” He chuckled, peeking his honey eyes open to look at Yunho. The ten-year-old cheered in victory, scrambling off Hoseok to sit in my lap. “Do you know what day it is?” He grinned, his missing front teeth on full display. 

   I hummed playfully, tapping my finger against my chin as Hoseok watched us with a smile from where he was laying next to me. “Hmm, well, today is a big day, am I right?” I teased. Yunho nodded vehemently. “A very big day,” Hoseok commented. “Could it be... Your big day?” I asked. Yunho giggled. “Yes!” He exclaimed, wrapping me in a hug and nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck. I wrapped my unoccupied arm around him, giving him a kiss on the top of his head.

  “Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll make your favorite breakfast?” I offered. Yunho pulled back and looked at me with stars in his eyes before chirping out an “okay!” before he squeezed me one last time, bent down and gave Hoseok a hug, and scurried out of the room. The two of us watched him go with warm, melted hearts. “He gets cuter as the years go by,” I sighed. “Wait until he’s a teenager,” Hoseok poked. I looked down at his teasing smile with a pout. “Don’t say that!” I whined, doing my best to wiggle out of his grasp. 

   Hoseok didn’t let go, he just held me tighter while he cackled at my attempts. “You’re mean,” I chuckled, pushing his face away from my side. Hoseok playfully nipped at my hands with his sharp canines, fighting them off like his life depended on it. All with a smile on his face. “But you love me,” He gushed, nuzzling his face into my stomach once he won the fight against my hands. 

   I rolled my eyes, giving him one last scratch behind the ear before I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Hoseok whined, but let me go. “Come on, you menace. Put a shirt on and help me with breakfast.” I said, throwing on one of his sweatshirts and making my way downstairs. I heard him dramatically groan. 

   I made my way to the kitchen and got out the ingredients for blueberry pancakes, Yunho’s favorite. Today was January 14, Yunho’s 10th birthday. He’s been eagerly waiting for this day since December, constantly dropping hints of what he wanted and what he’d like to do. So for today, Hoseok and I planned to take him out to a new amusement park with Hyejin, Yoongi, and Hajun (a different from the one we frequented), go out for dinner, and come back home for ice cream. (and presents of course)

   “Hobi!!” I heard Yunho call from upstairs and the aforementioned man responded with a “Yes?” before I heard his footsteps trail through the upstairs hallway. When Yunho was about 7, he started calling Hoseok “Hobi” instead of “Mr. Hoseok” once he realized that Hoseok was sticking around for a bit. I think it was because Yunho fully accepted him into his life, but Hoseok argues that “Mr. Hoseok” was just too much of a mouthful. 

    “Eomma... Where’s Hobi?” Yunho mumbled one morning while I fiddled with the coffee machine. I looked down at him with a quirked brow. “Hobi?” I asked, and he nodded. “Yeah, Mr. Hoseok. Where is he? Did he leave?” He pouted. I gave him a reassuring smile as I picked him up and sat him down on the counter. 

   “Hobi went out to get some breakfast, don’t worry, he’ll be back,” I said, petting his head. Yunho leaned into the touch, looking up at me with his puppy eyes. “Promise? Promise he’ll come back?” He asked, sticking out one of his pinkies. I chuckled, grabbing his pinky with my own. “I promise. Hobi wouldn’t leave us, bub,” 

   Right on cue, the front door opened. Yunho’s ears stood at attention, and he quickly jumped off the counter. He ran over the Hoseok who had a box of donuts in his hands and latched onto his leg, nuzzling his face into the material of his jeans. “Hey, champ. Are you okay?” He asked, moving the box over to one hand and resting his newly unoccupied one on Yunho’s head. “Don’t leave like that!” He whined. Hoseok frowned, bending down so he could look at Yunho properly. 

   “I just went out to get donuts, bub,” He explained, opening the box in front of him. “I got your favorite,” He smiled, motioning for Yunho to take one. Yunho complied, picking up a regular glazed donut and taking a bite out of it. “Did Hoseok scare you because he wasn’t here when you woke up?” I asked, leaning against the wall. Yunho nodded with a slumped head. 

    Hoseok looked at me with sad eyes before he turned his attention back to Yunho. “I’m sorry, I’ll tell you next time, okay? And if I’m ever not here when you wake up, know that I’ll always come back.” He smiled. Yunho looked up at him. “Do you promise, Hobi?” He asked. I could tell the new name caught Hoseok off guard, but he shook it off, holding out his pinky for Yunho. “I promise.”

And he’s been calling him that for three years now. 

   Suddenly, Hoseok came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on top of mine while I mixed the pancake batter. “What was up?” I asked. “His adult canines are sore again, so I gave him some medicine,” He explained. I sighed, “Hopefully they’ll settle soon, and correctly.” Hoseok moved his head to rest over my shoulder and reached over to pop a blueberry in his mouth before saying, “It’ll be okay. I remember when mine started growing in, I cried until they settled. He’s already stronger than me,” He chuckled, giving me a kiss on the cheek before he pulled away. 

  Not long after, Yunho came running down the stairs, bouncing over to where Hoseok was leaning against the counter and plastering himself to his leg. Hoseok smiled down at him and ruffled his hair. “How are you feeling?” He asked. Yunho shrugged, “Okay,” He answered. “Do you think you’ll be able to eat?” I asked before actually cooking any of the pancakes. “Mhm! I can eat,” He reassured. I chuckled, “Roger that,” Hoseok and Yunho both gave me a kiss before they moved into the living room to watch cartoons. 

I never thought I’d be a morning person, but damn, waking up next to Hoseok really changed that. 

   Since that day at Geumjeongsan, Hoseok and I took things slow and steady. Nothing changed at first. Hoseok would come by for ice cream nights like he always did, but then he’d stay after I put Yunho to bed. Then he took me on dates. Then he’d stay over for a couple of days. Then I asked him to move in with me. And now here we are, about 4 years later, with a new Jung Hoseok added to Yunho and I’s little family. 

  My bed never felt cold anymore, nights weren’t lonely or silent, and I looked forward to the morning. The mornings where I could peak my eyes open and see Hoseok’s sleeping face right in front of me, his hair all tousled. The mornings where I could wake up and hear his laughter mixed in with Yunho’s downstairs. The mornings when I was roused from sleep with a gentle, “Wake up, baby,” or “Honey~ wakey wakey~”

I’ve never been a morning person.

But Hoseok and Yunho made me one.

   The joyous screams of amusement park visitors echoed through the chilly air. The grind of rollercoasters tracks and other thrill rides hummed in a familiar rhythm. The smell of popcorn and cotton candy wafted past our noses as we entered the gates of the amusement park, keeping an eye out for a certain cat family. 

“If it isn’t my favorite sister! Ready for some amusement park fun?”

“Hyejin, you’re an only child. You basically adopted me in college to fill the little sister role. And yes, of course.” 

   Hyejin cackled as she ran up and wrapped me in a hug, while Hoseok excitedly greeted Yoongi, his best friend, with a hug of his own. Yoongi grumbled, but I could tell liked it by the way his noir tail swished back and forth. Yunho ran over to give them a hug as well, a blinding smile plastered on his face. 

   Hyejin pulled away and greeted him enthusiastically, picking him up and spinning him around. Yunho squealed in delight, their giggles intermixed with each other. Once Hyejin let him down, Yunho gave her a proper hug before bouncing over to Yoongi to give him one, too. “Oh god, you're getting big,” Yoongi commented, sounding exactly like an old man. “You’re going to be taller than your mother when you 're an adult,” He snickered, and I whacked his shoulder in defense. He let out an “ow” but continued to laugh. 

   “You know, that means he’d be taller than you too, Yoon,” Hoseok said, and Yoongi immediately cut off his chuckles to give the taller hybrid a shoulder whack of his own. I watched the interaction with a satisfied grin before I felt a tug on my shirt. I looked down to see Hajun looking up at me, silently asking for a hug. “Well, isn’t it my favorite nephew,” I said, kneeling down to wrap Hajun in my arms. He wrapped his arms around me in return, quietly nuzzling his face in my chest. 

   After we all exchanged our greetings and went over the rules with the kids, Hyejin clapped her hands together with a smile. “Alright! Let the adventure begin!” She exclaimed. Hajun and Yunho cheered with her as we started walking through the park. Yunho grabbed onto Hoseok’s hand while Hajun took Yoongi’s and the two of them pulled the grown men every which way. Hyejin and I lagged a bit behind, lost in our own conversation. 

   We walked through the food stands and carnival games, collecting drinks and a couple stuffed animals that Yunho and Hajun guilt tripped Hoseok and Yoongi into winning for them. “Look Hobi! It looks like the dragon from my show!” Yunho grinned, pointing up the red dragon plushie that was one of the prizes for winning the “Throw the ball and knock down the bottles” game.

   Hoseok looked at what he was pointing at and nodded in agreement. “Do you want it?” He asked and Yunho quickly nodded his head yes. “Now, now, I think you’ve won enough for right now,” I said. Yunho pouted, about to whine out a “But Ma...” before Hoseok beat him to it. “It’s fine, baby, just one more? Then we’ll stop,” 

   I sighed, relenting pretty quickly under Hoseok’s persuasive smile. He and Yunho cheered, going over to give the stall employee his money. The employee gave Hoseok three balls and pointed at the stack he’d be aiming at. Hoseok gave one of the balls to Yunho and asked him to take a shot at it. Yunho stuck his tongue out in concentration and threw the ball. It completely missed, but Hoseok was quick to turn his pout into a smile when he threw one of the other balls, successfully knocking down some of the bottles.

   Now, a man throwing a worn out baseball should not be attractive. But it was. It was attractive. I knew Hoseok went to the gym whenever he could with his friend Jeongguk, and it obviously paid off. He was fit, and his flexing biceps only proved that fact further. 

   Hoseok threw the second ball and knocked down the rest of the bottles, winning the dragon for Yunho. Hoseok handed the toy to Yunho, but before Yunho took it completely, he rubbed it all over Hoseok, getting his scent on the toy. Hoseok let him with a smile on his face. Once he deemed it scented enough, he hugged it to his chest and grabbed Hoseok’s land, running back to where I was standing. 

   “Look Ma!” He said, proudly showing the stuffed toy to me. “Wow!” I gasped in that typical “impressed mother” way before I shot Hoseok a grateful smile. “What do we say?” I asked. Yunho turned around and hugged Hoseok’s leg, “Thank you, Hobi,” He said in a singsong voice. Hoseok chuckled. “You’re welcome,” 

   We continued on our journey through the park, occasionally stopping to get on rides like the teacups and the merry-go-round. I made sure to take plenty of pictures of Yunho’s bright face and Hoseok’s heart-shaped smile. (And occasional face of fear when the rides suddenly sped up)

   “Ma! Can we go on that one?” Yunho asked, pointing at one of the rollercoasters. It was quite tame, nothing crazy, just fast paced and a couple of small drops. I looked at it, feeling my stomach go a bit queasy. I was never the best with rollercoasters. “Go with Seok and see if you reach the height limit,” I said. Yunho grabbed Hoseok’s hand and shook with excitement as he led him to where the height limit board was set up. Hajun also pulled Yoongi over. 

   Hyejin giggled. “They look absolutely adorable, don’t they?” She asked. “Who? Yoongi and Hajun? Yes, Yoongi and mini Yoongi are the cutest,” I chuckled, but Hyejin shook her head. “No, silly, Hoseok and Yunho,” she clarified, and I let out an ‘ohhh’ before I nodded my head in agreement. “Yes, they are also the cutest.” I smiled, watching as Yunho bounced up and down in excitement when Hoseok told him he reached the limit. The two of them looked over at me and I shot them a thumbs up, waving them off as they got in the queue. 

   “I’m proud of you, ya know,” Hyejin spoke up, turning to look at me. “Why’s that?” I asked. Hyejin playfully rolled her eyes because to her it was so obvious what she was alluding to. “The little family you’ve made with Hoseok,” She said, “You changed so much, and for the better. You’re literally glowing every day and so is Yunho. You don’t have that doubt anymore, and that feeling isn’t rubbing off on him anymore.” 

“Really? I mean, I definitely feel better, but I didn’t know I was looking like it too.”

“I’m just happy to see you so happy.” 

   I smiled, looking back at where Hoseok, Yunho, Yoongi, and Hajun were standing. The four of them in their own little world as they talked about whatever. Probably music, which was what the boy’s new obsession was about. “My boys make me happy,” I said with a shrug. 

“Have you ever thought about marriage?” Hyejin blurted out. 

   I choked on the water I was sipping, coughing it up as it made its way down the wrong pipe. Hyejin gently pat my back, like a gentle form of the Heimlich manoeuvre however the Heimlich wouldn’t help in this situation since water wasn’t a solid. “W-What?” I stuttered out, looking at Hyejin with wide eyes. 

  Hyejin took the fact that I wasn’t dying as an invitation to start laughing. I swatted at her with a pout. “Don’t laugh! You caught me off guard!” I whined, and Hyejin laughed harder. After she had calmed down, she took a deep breath and cleared her throat before looking at me again. “Have you ever thought of marriage? Like, marrying Hoseok?” She asked for the second time, but this time I didn’t choke. (Luckily)

   “Um... No? I haven’t, isn’t thinking about this a bit too soon?” I argued. But Hyejin shook her head. “You’ve been together for like, 4 years. I don’t think it’s early at all,” She said, crossing her arms. “You’re saying you haven’t thought about it at all? Like never?” She questioned, and I shook my head. “Not at all. I just, live in the moment and appreciate the fact that Hoseok is with me in the first place,” I gushed. 

   “Do you want to though?” She rose a playful brow, nudging me softly. I spluttered, “I um. I don’t know...? Yes...? Marriage is expensive, though. The venue, the dress, the food-” I listed, but Hyejin quickly cut me off with a finger to my lips. “Gosh don’t think about that, think about if Hoseok were to get down on one knee and pull out a ring right now, would you say yes?” She asked. I chuckled, “Hyejin that’s-” “Nope! Answer the question!” She chirped. 

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah... Yes, I’m sure I would,” I answered truthfully, feeling my ears heat up in embarrassment. Hyejin squealed, bouncing up and shaking me out of excitement. “Ah! So cute, I can’t wait for the wedding,” She gushed, wrapping her arms around me so I’d bounce up and down with her. “Hyejin! Stooopp” I whined, feeling the stares of passersby. 

  Hyejin pulled away once the excited cheers of rollercoaster-high Yunho and Hajun came bounding over to us. They cheerfully told us all about how Hoseok screamed and Yoongi closed his eyes the whole time. Hoseok walked over to me with a pout, clearly embarrassed about his lack of courage. He wrapped his arms around me and whined about how awful the rollercoaster was. But I could only blush as I thought about what Hyejin had talked to me about. 

“Happy birthday, dear Yunho, happy birthday to you!” 

    “Is the cake good?” I asked Yunho who had a forkful of ice cream cake in his mouth. He nodded with a smile, his face scrunching up cutely. I chuckled, petting Yunho on the head before I started to clean up the mess we had made, which was mostly wrapping paper mess from Yunho’s gift unwrapping extravaganza. 

   As Hyejin and I went to put the dishes in the sink and throw the trash away, she spoke up with a pout. “We’ll have to get going... All three of us have things to do in the morning,” She sighed. “Why do you sound so guilty?” I chuckled, patting her on the back in reassurance. “Because it’s so early! And I wanna hang out with you longer,” He whined. “Hyejin, you see me like all the time. It’ll be okay. Why don’t we meet up for coffee on Wednesday?” I offered. 

   Hyejin immediately cheered up, enthusiastically agreeing to the plans and wrapping me in a hug. “I love you,” She said. “I love you too,” I responded. Yoongi came back in from where he and Hoseok had disappeared out back, keys in his hands as he looked over at Hyejin. “Ready?” He asked, and Hyejin nodded. 

   Yoongi told Hajun to say his goodbyes, which he did, albeit reluctantly, as Hyejin and Yoongi said their own. “Take care,” Yoongi whispered to me, and he gave me a shoulder hug. “You say that like you 're going away for a long time,” I said. Yoongi just shrugged, “I’m not, but still, take care.” I smiled at him. “Will do and I love you too,” Yoongi looked away with a blush, running off to hide behind Hyejin. 

   “Bye!” We all waved as we watched them go from the front door. The Min family reciprocated with their own set of waves and chorus of “Bye”s. Having guests leave after a party aways feels so odd. I never realized just how quiet the house was at night. 

   “Okay! Time for bed,” Yunho chirped, padding over towards the stairs. Hoseok and I raised our brow, looking back and forth between each other and Yunho with wide eyes. That was abrupt... “You don’t want to stay up? This is the only day I let you,” I said, utterly confused. Yunho turned around and shook his head no. “Nope!” He said, popping the ‘p’ “I have school tomorrow,” He said. 

   “Alright, since when do you want to be ready for school?” Hoseok chuckled, tilting his head at the younger hybrid. “Tomorrow is Appa day, where we’re supposed to bring our Appa to school with us,” Yunho smiled, like what he was saying was nonchalant. I cringed. I never really like the concept of “Eomma days” or “Appa days” because, like Yunho, not everyone had an Appa or Eomma. It just seemed harmful, in a way. 

   “Are you sure you don’t want to stay home tomorrow?” I asked, but Yunho vehemently shook his head no. “Then Hobi and I would miss Appa day!” He whined. Now if Yunho surprised us with his enthusiasm for school, he rendered Hoseok and I... Well, speechless. 

   Hoseok coughed, taking a minute to process the meaning of Yunho’s words. “Is that okay...?” Yunho cautioned after seeing Hoseok’s reaction. “Yes! Yes. It’s perfectly okay. We can, um, we can get donuts for breakfast, yeah?” He sputtered out. Yunho’s face lit up. “Okay! I’m going to go take a shower,” He proclaimed before he ran up the stairs towards the bathroom. 

Silence. 

There was nothing in the air but silence between Hoseok and I. 

Until Hoseok’s soft sniffles reached my ears. 

   I made my way over to Hoseok and cupped his teary face in my hands. “Hey... Why are you crying?” I asked with a worried look. Hoseok didn’t answer at first, and I gave him the space to calm down and gather himself. “He-He wants me for Appa day, so does that mean...?” He sniffled, looking at me with pleading eyes that silently asked me if this was real and not a dream. I nodded. “I think it does,”

  Hoseok cried even harder, burying his face into the crook of my neck and wrapping his arms around me, holding me tight. “He sees me like that?” He cried. I didn’t realize just how seriously Hoseok took his role as a father figure, and I guess the conformation from Yunho that he was, in fact, his father figure made him feel like he had won the World Cup. “He does. You deserve that honor, Hoseok,”

“I just... I don’t... Appa”

“Shh, take a deep breath, okay?”

   I let him cry in my neck until he pulled away by himself, leaving me with a saturated collar and sleeve. Hoseok looked at the wet spot and chuckled. “Sorry,” He croaked out, but I shook my head and took one of his hands in my. “No need to apologize, it’s just a shirt. Let’s get ready for bed, okay? You have a big day tomorrow.” I smiled. 

Yunho was my light.

And now he has a father could be things that I couldn’t.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Just Yunho, Hoseok, and I

“What’s stopping you, Seok?”

“I’m just nervous, Yoon. What if she says no?”

“Why would she say no?”

“I don’t... Know...”

“Exactly, so just take her somewhere nice and ask. That’s how I asked Hyejin,”

“You make it sound so easy... But alright... I’ll do it.”

Tag List: @kurochan3​ @mrcleanheichou​ @anonymous-armys-blog​ @bella-raina @purelyecstacy​ @lindsayjoy444  @unicornbabylover​ @xicanacorpse​ @creatorspalace​ @thesweetest-peas​​ @fangirl125reader​​

© KiiroKero

Another Note: I have drabble plans for the OLINO universe that I might write and post. They won’t be out for a while but I might write them. 

[ameliyaahn3]

13 days series : Day One, 20th December.

Genre : Fluff, Comfort, (lame ass one) Humor.

Warning : Things get heated up at end but nothing shocking.

Word count : Around 1k800.

Summary : Akashi bringing his empress to his chalet for christmas holidays but it's also his birthday. What will Y/n prepare for him ?

Akashi Seijuro × Reader.

Even then, you weren't used of that life of luxury and comfort with Seijuro : whatever you would salivate for, he was capable to give it to you twice or in a matter of a minute -if that's not even too much-: what was for sure something you can't even dream of in your wildest fantasty. And as the wealthy man he is, once again Seijuro impressed you by bringing you on vaccation at his family chalet.

Snow was surronding the beautiful and big place when you stepped outside the car, a warm and refined hand holding your fingers at the same time. You turn your head to see your boyfriend smiling what does make you instantly excited as his eyes are slightly shining at your view. Your blood going trough your veins so fast, you can't help but wait to drag Seijuro into the house and listening to whatever he has to say about it.

You know his chalet to be somewhere he would at least visit once a year and as a place full of funny and innocent chilhood memories that conted by him would just sound so interesting. As the cold started to hit a little bit too harshly on your faces, Seijuro finally decided to guide you to the traditional house, maids and butlers behind with your baggages.

" Pleased, my love ?" You nodded positively, a grin forming on your lips, " How I could not ?" the majestous tree were absorbing your soul.

"I know that you're not always comfortable with my wealth and all thoses prestigious places but I hope this time you won't feel any discomfort being here." The way he talks so smoothely drives you naturally to look at his charming face, what do distract your attention from the unique landscape. However do you regret it ? Not even one second.

" I can't be bothered by a place that is like home for you." You said, your stomach feeling like there butterflies in it despite it does make 9 months you're together. Sensations conservating pretty good like an old bottle of wine, it's really something to be in couple with this man.

" I wish you would think of my gifts as the furnitures then." You chukle a little bit at his come-back, not bad actually but how could you not feel weird when he's offering you expensive jewerly and dates on the only motive that you're his lover ?

" Sei..."

" Because I can't imagine a world that I would truly enjoy without you, you deserve the best, Y/n. Though I've fallen for your independance, since we're one, everything mine is yours, you should not being ashamed of anything."

Seeing you opening your mouth to try to justifiate your attitude, Akashi shut it with his own, deposing a small peck on your lips that destroyed all trace of a logic and inteligent answer in your mind.

What a drag... How would you return him all he give to you the same ? Nothing that you can buy can value even the smallest thing that he had already offrered you, but it was his birthday tomorrow and except of your present you couldn't think of something appropriate to express your love to him.

" Shht, my dear. You know I'm right." He says with a smirk.

Besides making you feel like the first days, Seijuro know also how to make you pout like a child despite that you're supposed to be decently mature.

" That's not fair..."

────────── ·  ·  ·  · ✦

In front of the chimney, you observe the fire dancing, your head lies on Akashi shoulder's as he's taking a pause on his book and that a cup of hot chocolate is between your hands. It was for sure one of the most relaxing moment you ever had in the past 6 months, forgetting about school, work or whatever were drowning you down in general it was inexistant here.

" That table... I used to play on it a lot with my mother."

" What kind of games ?"

Akashi smile when he hear sincere interest in your voice, not surprised of your curiosity when it involve him even for the silliest subjects. It was one of the reason you were with him afterall and not another person.

" Cards games mostly and even if I was a child, I don't remember having similar struggles winning against my mother than anybody else till now."

" So she was an high level player ?"

" Surprisingly not and she would admit herself that she was even quite unlucky, I used to not understand why I had so much difficulties with her but now it's pretty clear that I was inconsciously doing of sort to play with her more."

" It's adorable but insulting at the same time, i don't know how I would take it if I was in her position. You didn't do this with me right ?"

"..."

His laugh makes you felt like death has suddenly taken your body and your diginity with it.

"Maybe you can try to found out yourself ?" He put his book aside, amused by the situation.

" I've never felt so insulted in my life... Seijuro affront me right now, one one." Determined by your pride you still kept your calm and called him more in a playful tone than anything else.

" You won't be mad at me when you will find out how I play with you Y/n?"

" I can't promise that... i've been believing that I was good at shogi during more than a year!"

" And you're good."

" But how do I know for real now ?"

"Alright, alright... let's play then. Even if you finish to be angry at me that wouldn't last long."

" Wha-? You know that you're irresistible and you makes benefit of it on me ?! That's vicious... and I love it against my own agreement. How do you do ? That's disgusting."

" You're doing this to me everyday, Y/n."

" No i don't..?"

" You definitely do."

You don't even bother to pursuing that thing and sit in front of the said table with cards that you found around. Today was the day of truth.

 ────────── ·  ·  ·  · ✦

After losing 13 rounds in a row you didn't bother to test Akashi again and let him with his undefeated title. But most importantly, while playing against him you didn't saw something that would say he was holding back on purpose, what surprised you and comforted you a little bit on your own skills.

After that, you decided to take an hot bath and you had a sumptuous diner which by the way makes you felt really heavy. Filled Up and clean, there was nothing that you would need in the moment and so time went by and at the end you wanted to sleep. The Emperor led you to your shared room and before letting your body enjoy a restful night, you took initiative of a cuddle session. Making soft contact with Akashi's skin, your fingers doing small circles on his palm hand and forearm.

As sleep is slowly taking you away, your boyfriend whispers lovely words in your right ear and stroke your back, plunging you into another world : Watching the snow failling gently in the window with the elegant lights of the room while being under thoses pretty sheets with Akashi Seijuro beside... Everything looked like a dream. You took a look in the direction of your hidden gift, thinking of how you would make it memorable and your eyes closed despite a sudden excitation and vague of ideas that poped in your head last minute.

During the whole night, it was like your soul aspired to wake up early and so you slept easily but as if you're body is schedulded, first hour in the morning, 5:45 am you were awake and as you were quiting bed stupid flash of the game yesterday evening came to your head making you thinking that Akashi pitiyied you because of small action in his game, you pipe that idea away and focus on your tasks.

First step was the more difficult one but you managed to get out the bed without being noticed. You wanted to make breakfast for him but also as he would wake up, wish him an happy birthday quite special with his present in your hands.

Maids bringed the bouquet of roses you requested and helped you cooking food. You had so much plans for his birthday... If you remember well, there was that Power Point waiting in your draft explaining how perfect he is and why he should be happy, healthy and live so much years more. But you didn't carry on that idea as that wasn't amazing enough and that in fact that would be just you acting as a fangirl of your boyfriend during an hour at least.

You watch at the time, knowing that your lover used to being awake around 6:30-7:00 also on weekends while during winter even the sun doesn't rise that early.

You walk into the room, taking your gift quickely and in silence, posing the plate of breakfast that you tried your best to please him with. Well, you look at him to see that he's sligthly waking up, a smile grows on your lips.

Once you see one of those red orbs open, you heart skips a beat, Akashi sit on his bed a genuine smile as he see you.

" Good morning, Y/n."

and you can't help but kiss him.

" Happy birthday Seijuro!"

As you crash your lips in a sweet and chaste manner yet still filled with an unquestionable passion, you give him roses and put on evidence the breakfast. The smell of roses mixed with delicious plates increasing Akashi joy even if he doesn't show it in an obvious way.

" You didn't have to do this, Y/n... But it makes me really happy, Thank you."

" Do not thank me yet..! I haven't given you everything and you deserve the best."

You lay on his hand the package, letting him being curious to what is it. After taking a glance at you, he decide to open your gift and see an antique but expensive -for someone of your class- watch with his and your initials, because the clock is foldable when you unclip it, you can see a picture of his mother that you've put.

Akashi seemed quite touched and took your hand in his, a soft and nostalgic expression on his face.

" I obvisouly can't offer you one of the newer and expensive jewerly but I was sure that this one would be at your liking."

Emotional value combined with an utilitarian purpose, not to mention the style.

" And it is, you did well Y/n. It's until now the most valuable item I have in my possesion... I will cherish your present."

" And I will cherish you... Doesn't it sounded like a weeding vows ? Haha... However I will cherish you for real and in all the way possible so even if I can't give you as much as you do in terms of material... My affection would value at least as much if it's not even a lot more."

You said that while coming closer to him, eyes full of desire and of need to proove your love. Akashi put all thoses object you bring in bed on the nearest table as a more lewd expression took place on his face.

" Convince me."

And you were already under him.

" Maybe this one would be my favorite birthday."

[mallowstep]

(hand games on the playground court)

"Bubblegum, bubblegum in a dish, how many pieces do you wish?"

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11-

"Alright, Featherpaw, you take my place."

* * *

"Where are we going?"

Mistyfoot glances back over her shoulder. "We're going on a little walk."

"But it's dark."

Stonefur meets her eyes. If they get caught taking the kids out, they'll be separated, and then they have no hope of protecting them.

"I know," Mistyfoot says. "It'll be fun. A little adventure."

She squeezes Featherpaw's hand a little tighter, and they cross over the road, making it deeper into the woods. Stonefur fiddles with the cellphone he picked up last time he was in town. They've waited months for a chance to use it.

Stormpaw grabs a twig, dragging it through the dirt, and Featherpaw twists a finger through her hair.

"Hey," Stonefur says. "Yeah, yeah it's me. We're alright, I've got the kids."

Stonefur crouches down, smiling at Featherpaw and Stormpaw. "I've got your dad on the phone," he says, pressing a few buttons. "Okay, Greystripe, you're on speaker."

"Hey, kiddos," Greystripe says. "How are you doing?"

Stonefur passes the phone to Stormpaw, and the kids chatter on about their days. Stonefur stands next to Mistyfoot, and she rests her head on his shoulder.

"I'm running out of cash," he says, his voice low to avoid the kids' attention. "This might be their last call."

"I'll see what I can find," Mistyfoot says. "We should..."

What should they do? Leopardstar has custody of the kids. They can't take them to Greystripe without getting dragged back here.

Stonefur puts his arm around her shoulders. "We'll figure it out," he says.

On the way back, Mistyfoot reminds the kids that this has to be their secret. They don't ask why.

* * *

Stormpaw hits the ball away from him, watching it bounce twice in the square next to him.

"You're out!" he calls, and they all rotate squares.

"Your serve," someone says. Stormpaw smiles. He doubts he'll be knocked out before recess is over.

* * *

Stonefur taps on the window to the kids' room. Stormpaw opens the window, looking confused.

"Stonefur?"

"Shh," Stonefur hushes. "Quiet, okay?"

"What are you doing here? Tigerstar said you went missing."

"Yeah, I know." Stonefur takes a deep breath. "Where's your sister?"

"I dunno. Mistyfoot took her somewhere."

Fuck. He doesn't know what his sister has planned, but he can't wait for them to get back. He's sure he's already tripped an alarm, and it's only a matter of time before someone finds him.

"Okay," he says, "You and me are going to go on an adventure, okay?"

Stormpaw looks hesitant.

"It'll be fun," Stonefur soothes. "Come on, you get to climb out a window. Isn't that fun?"

Stormpaw clambers out, and Stonefur grabs him. He's too big to carry comfortably, but too young to walk fast enough to make it out. "Piggy back ride, okay?"

"I can walk."

"I know." Stonefur shifts Stormpaw, and closes the window as best he can as Stormpaw wraps his legs and arms around him. His heel kicks into the gouge in his side, but Stonefur does his best not to react.

"Where are we going?" Stormpaw asks, as he treks towards town, turning back over his shoulder every couple of minutes.

"We're going to live with your dad," Stonefur says.

"What about Featherpaw?"

Stonefur adjusts Stormpaw, wrapping his arms under Stormpaw's knees. "I'll go back for her once we get to Greystripe," Stonefur says.

He walks until noon of the next day. They're in a new town, and he forks up enough cash to get them a motel room. Stormpaw's head is resting on his shoulder, and he slides the kid into the bed as gently as he can. Hopefully, he can run to a gas station and back before Stormpaw wakes.

The attendant examines his purchases. Stonefur doesn't have cash to waste on hiding what he's doing. A bottle of rubbing alcohol, sewing kit, and a new burner phone. He's lucky he's wearing a jacket, because he's sure his shirt has been soaked with blood.

Stormpaw wakes when Stonefur opens the door.

"Hey, buddy," he says. "Sleep well?"

"I'm hungry," Stormpaw says.

"I know. I need a minute, and then we'll see if we can't scrounge up something for you to eat."

Stonefur shuts the bathroom door and starts the sink. His side is angry and red, and this is going to hurt like hell.

He doubles numbers in his head, high as he can keep track of, as he cleans it out and stitches it shut. It's not a good job, but he can't afford a doctor.

Stormpaw is fiddling with the TV when he opens the door. He looks at the shoddy stitches. "You should see a doctor."

"I'll be fine," Stonefur says. "Just a second, and then we'll find some food." He dials Greystripe's number. It's been nearly six months since they last called him. "Greystripe, it's me."

"Stonefur?"

"Yeah. Listen, I can't talk for long, but me and Stormpaw are on our way to you."

"What happened? What about Featherpaw?"

Stormpaw hangs upside down off the bed, mouthing along to the theme song of some children's cartoon. Stonefur is surprised he remembers seeing it.

"I didn't have time to get her. It was one or none." Stonefur runs his hand through his hair. He must look half wild. He'll have to clean them both up before they leave, if they want any hope of not attracting attention. "We won't be there for a while. Maybe a few months."

"I can come to you," Greystripe says. "Where are you? Do you need anything?"

"I don't have an ID, I don't have a bank account, and we've gotta keep moving," Stonefur says. "We'll be fine. You're at the same address?"

"Yeah. Can I talk to Stormpaw?"

"Yeah. But listen -- Mistyfoot will take care of Featherpaw. I wouldn't have left her if she would be alone."

"I know." Greystripe is frustrated, angry, even, and Stonefur can't blame him. "Keep in contact, okay?"

"Yeah. Don't talk for too long. I only have so many minutes."

* * *

Tawnypaw is jumping.

"For all have sinned and fall short in the glory of God," they chant, Tawnypaw jumping on every other syllable.

It's fall, and they're not back in school. Tigerstar says it's a bad influence and probably why Stormpaw left and he won't risk any more children being corrupted.

* * *

Maybe Mistyfoot should be more surprised when she's moved into a new room with Featherpaw. But it feels par for the course. Tigerstar has been livid ever since Stormpaw and Stonefur ran (or since Stonefur died, he keeps changing the story and Mistyfoot isn't sure which one is true), and cramming them in a windowless barely-more-than-a-closet feels about right.

Featherpaw is seemingly unbothered.

"He's isolating us," she explains. ""Cause our brothers were bad so we're probably bad so he doesn't want it to spread."

Mistyfoot cradles Featherpaw against her. "We're not bad," she says. "Our brothers aren't either." She runs her hand through Featherpaw's hair. It's tangled, but she doesn't have a brush.

"Tigerstar says we are," Featherpaw says. "Says we need to do a penance-" she slows down over that word, like she is making sure she has the right pronunciation "-so that our souls will be clean again."

Mistyfoot kisses the top of Featherpaw's head. "We don't need to do anything," she says. "Tigerstar doesn't know what he's talking about."

Featherpaw shrugs, like she doesn't want to argue but still thinks Mistyfoot is wrong. "He didn't let me bring my book," she says, her nose scrunching. "I was in the middle of a chapter."

* * *

"Last piece of cake," Stonefur says. "Who gets it?"

It's Stormpaw's tenth birthday. He hasn't celebrated his birthday since he was five, but Stonefur brought a cake back to their room and said they were celebrating this year.

"We should...thumb wrestle over it."

Stonefur smiles, but Stormpaw is pretty sure Stonefur lets him win. But Stormpaw doesn't touch the piece of cake.

"You won," Stonefur says, "don't you want it?"

"It's Featherpaw's birthday too," Stormpaw says.

Stonefur's jaw tightens, and his eyes crinkle at the corners. He rubs Stormpaw's shoulder.

* * *

Stonefur steals a car in late December. It's too cold to walk, and they're both exhausted, and he doesn't have the money he needs to buy one.

He'd be ashamed, but he doesn't have another choice. Stormpaw sits in the passenger seat, even though he's definitely too young for that, and Stonefur passes him a map.

"Ready, navigator?"

"Ready."

* * *

"Concentration!" Featherpaw says, "sixty-four!"

Mistyfoot doesn't know any games, so Featherpaw is teaching her all the ones she knows. Tigerstar hasn't let her go back for her book, or let her take any of the worksheets they've been doing back to their room, and Featherpaw doesn't have a long enough piece of string to do a cat's cradle. "I go first, you follow." Mistyfoot is watching Featherpaw carefully, but she's doing the motion fine. This is an easy game, anyway. There's nothing going on. It's mostly about the words.

"Category is...animals."

Mistyfoot smiles.

"Sheep."

"Mouse."

"Cow."

"Dog."

"Cat."

Someone bangs on the door. "Will the two of you shut up?"

* * *

Tigerstar places his hand on the small of her back.

"I hope you're doing well, Mistyfoot. I'm sure it's been hard, losing your brother like that."

Tigerstar sighs, using his other hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ears. "It just goes to show you, you never can be sure about who's loyal."

* * *

That summer, Stormpaw draws a hopscotch grid on the driveway. Greystripe has bought him chalk, and markers, and a new backpack and more than the two sets of clothes he had been washing out in bathroom sinks.

"There aren't really any neighbourhood kids to play with," Greystripe says, "but if you're okay with winning all the time, I'll play."

[yetanotherpotterpage]

the idea of loving you | 1

Being in love is never easy. Especially with a certain blonde-haired Slytherin around.. /4th year/

pairing: Draco x Ravenclaw reader

word count: 1300

warnings: none

a/n: aaa this is my first ever fanfiction,and I’m VERY excited!! I really hope you like it!! <3

Coming to the Yule ball with Draco was weird. You've never really talked to each other before he asked you. You did acknowledge each other since you shared a lot of the same classes, but you've never really talked. Part of the reason might've been that he couldn't stand your group of friends. Sure, he didn't mind Cho and your other Ravenclaw friends but you befriending Harry was not something Draco was fond of. And still, you were walking into the beautifully decorated great hall, hand in hand with the blonde boy.

It was a cold, snowy day when he asked you, sometime in the beginning of December. It was lunchtime, and you were very much looking forward to the feel the warmth of the creamy soup they served in the great hall. You sat at the Ravenclaw table with your group of friends, laughing at something Cho said when you felt a tap on your right shoulder. As you turned your head, you met an icy pair of blue eyes that belonged to none other than Draco Malfoy. You looked at him questioningly.

"Hey y/l/n, how would you like being my partner to the ball?" Draco asked, face as cocky as ever. 

You felt shocked. But looking around, you saw that you weren't the only one. Cho's eyes widened, mouth opening in shock. To her left, Marietta Edgecombe whispered something that very much sounded like a mumbled: "oh, Merlin." You heard Pansy's cry in anger and other Slitheryn boys' cheers. You've also seen the shock and confusion on Harry's face. He almost seemed angry, but that wouldn't surprise you, with Draco being his natural enemy. And then you glanced at the Hufflepuff table, and your gaze met with Cedric's. Cedric Diggory. The boy, you fell head over heels for, the second you saw him. You knew him from before Hogwarts because Amos, his father, was your father's childhood friend. They've been good friends since Amos saved your father from a werewolf in their fifth year. Your dad didn't share many details about the accident, saying he'd rather you didn't hear about his reckless adventures. When you first met Cerdic, you were amazed. You were used to boys being gross, loud, and stinky. You were used to the never-ending teasing and immatureness. But Cedric, oh, he was different. He smelled like freshly washed sheets that were dried by the sun, and daisies. He was beautiful and kind, and most importantly, he was the first boy that ever made you feel like a girl. You played together while growing up. As you got older, your feelings for him grew, and you realized that you were in love with him. But you were not kids anymore. You didn't see him as often as you did back then, and you kind of grew apart. You wouldn't call Cedric a friend, no, more like an acquaintance. You never really talked anymore, it was small smiles and nods when passing each other on the hallways. Rather awkward. But as he was sitting there, holding eye contact with you, you just couldn't say yes to Malfoy. It was stupid really, but maybe, maybe he’ll ask you to go to the ball with him...

You shook your head. "I'm sorry, Draco,"  you said with a frown on your face, voice soft. It came out quiet, but he heard it.

He let out a low chuckle and came closer so you're the only one who hears him. "Don't kid yourself y/l/n. You're going to be back and I'll be waiting." And with that, he left the great hall, smirk still visible on his face.

After the incident, you went on with your day. You had three more classes, one of them herbology with Professor Sprout. You dreaded it, but you loved Sprout. She was always encouraging and positive, which you needed in order to survive the class. After your last class, you were headed back to the great hall to meet your friends for dinner when you heard someone call your name.When you turned, you saw a disheveled looking Cedric in front of you.He was probably running to catch up to you. It's cute, you thought.

"Yes, Cedric?" you asked, smiling up at him. This is it, you thought. You were hoping he heard about you rejecting Malfoy's offer earlier, and came here to ask the same thing he did. You were nervous, but it wasn't a new feeling. He always made you nervous. Like you don't have any coherent thoughts when you're near him. All you can think of is his shiny hair and beautiful jawline, and long eyelas-

"Do you happen to know where Cho is?" He asked quietly. He had a look on his face you were not familiar with. Shyness. You frowned in confusion, and then it hit you.

"Oh, Uhm, I think she's in the great hall already." You let out a quiet, dry laugh. You didn't dare to stop smiling, scared you might start crying. 

"Thanks, y/n, see you later." He smiled sweetly at you, patting your shoulder as he turned around.

You were just about to let out the sob you were holding back when he turned to you once again. "Wait it's your birthday today, right? Happy birthday y/n!" He said cheerfully, while giving you a wide grin, then ran off to the great hall to find Cho.

You stood there in confusion. He got the wrong date. He knows you since you were 7. You celebrated many birthdays together, and he couldn't even memorize the month, heck the season. That was it. This whole situation was stupid. No, he was stupid, you thought while hot tears were falling from your eyes. But under all that anger towards Cedric, you were really just angry at yourself. You said you were in love with him, but it's not love when you don't talk anymore, and it's not love when you never meant anything to him. You've wasted years of your life thinking maybe one day you two might be more than friends, when you are barely even friends. When you were done sulking, you decided you’re going to the ball with Malfoy after all. He was handsome, and his family had a good reputation and he wanted you to go with him. If you showed up with him, maybe Cedric would see what he missed out on. You quickly washed your face in the nearest toilet and then ran off to find Malfoy. He said he'll be waiting, you thought. It was dinner time, therefore you knew he's going to be in the great hall with everyone else, so you sprinted there. But when you entered and looked over to the Slytherin table, you got scared. The Slytherins are very intimidating, and you didn't want to walk up to the most intimidating one of them all, all alone. There's a reason you were not a Gryffindor. While second-guessing yourself you looked over to your house's table, only to find Cedric sitting in your place, talking to Cho. They seemed awfully friendly, and it made your blood boil. You stormed to the table, where the blonde boy was sitting, currently talking to Zabini about something you didn't quite catch, a hand curled around Parkinson's waist. When you got there, you cleared your throat, to get the boy's attention. He lazily glanced at you, and all of his friends got very quiet, all staring at you, waiting for you to say something. But Draco was faster

"Look who it is. Told you, you'll be back y/l/n." said Draco with the most self-satisfied grin, you've ever seen. Although he gave you his full attention, his hand didn't move from Pansy's waist.  

A quiet sigh escaped your lips. "Pick me up half an hour before the ball starts, and don't be late!" you said picking up an apple from their table and with that, you turned on your heel leaving the great hall behind, not even glancing back at the Rawevclaw table.

chapter 2

[gothpanda]

A Little Bit of Attitude Ch. 35: I Love Him

WORD COUNT: 7.7k

A/N: Hey! I’m not dead! I just have shitty mental health! But I’m good! 

WARNINGS: drugs, OD, death(kinda), angst

TAGS: @madamsixx @emariehorror​ @nosebleedblitz​

Previous/Next

Read on Ao3

October 13th, 1987

Los Angeles, California

Home. The only place Sammi wanted to be was home with her parents. It was the perfect time to drive 7 hours with no Motley Crue anywhere close to Los Angeles. While this seemed essential to Sammi to come down, Mr. & Mrs. Bass were heavily confused by the visit. Of course, they loved having their youngest daughter back in the same city, but when they knew ahead of time. Sammi always planned her visits for the weekend after a busy school week, not a random Tuesday. As parents, Mr. & Mrs. Bass kept their questions to zero with happiness in the air to help combat Sammi's melancholic demeanor. A perfect way to help had ice cream for dessert after dinner. Sitting together at the breakfast table, Mrs. Bass placed a bowl of rocky road ice cream in front of Sammi, knowing it was her favorite. Sammi smiled happily for a second to her mother, remaining silent as she ate. Mr. Bass took this as his way to attempt to break through his daughter's walls.

"I talked to Tommy the other day," said Mr. Bass, glancing over to Sammi as he ate a spoonful of cookies & cream ice cream. "Have you gotten a chance to speak to him, Sunny?"

"Nope," bluntly said Sammi, looking down at her ice cream.

Mr. and Mrs. Bass only exchanged looks with each other. "Well what did Tommy get to tell you, David?" asked Mrs. Bass.

"Things are starting to feel overwhelming for him and the boys. Tommy mostly wanted to speak about home and how everyone's been," said Mr. Bass. "He said he missed us and the girls,"

"I hope he doesn't stress himself out too much. Tommy does push the limits with everything especially when Nikki's by his side," said Mrs. Bass. Sammi let out a dry chuckle, making her parents turn their gaze towards her. Sammi glanced up but only remained silent once again when Mr. and Mrs. Bass stared. "Is everything alright, Lovebug?"

"Yeah, I'm good," lied Sammi.

"Is everything alright between you and guys?" asked Mr. Bass, leaning forward onto the table. Sammi only shrugged her shoulders.

"Did Tommy and you get into an argument recently?" asked Mrs. Bass.

"No, we didn't"

"Well then how are you with the boys?" asked Mrs. Bass again.

"Are you alright with Nikki, Sammi?" asked Mr. Bass. Sammi took a deep breath, dropping her spoon into her half-empty bowl. She leaned back against the wooden chair, pushing any fallen hair out of her hair.

"No. I'm not alright with Nikki. I haven't been for a while," finally admitted Sammi.

"Well, what happened? You had told me Nikki wanted to work out, even invited you out to a show on your birthday," asked Mr. Bass.

Sammi hugged herself almost tight, not wanting to look her parents in the eye. "He fell off the wagon… turned back to drugs. I found out when I saw him and said I didn't want anything to do with him," said Sammi. Mr. and Mrs. Bass couldn't help but appear shocked for Sammi's reason, staying silent. Sammi didn't add anything else, only continued to finish her ice cream.

"Can you tell what drugs he's back on?" asked Mrs. Bass.

"I don't want to say it out loud. Just know it's too hard for me to let it go," said Sammi.

"Well, I hope Nikki learns from his actions. He's too smart of a man to throw everything away just for a fix," said Mr. Bass, studying Sammi's facial expressions.

"I doubt that…" mumbled Sammi, standing up to drop her bowl into the sink, leaving the kitchen to head upstairs for the night. Mr. Bass held Mrs. Bass's hand, trying his best to think of a solution to Sammi's sadness.

"You really do like Nikki, huh?" asked Mrs. Bass.

Mr. Bass sighed out. "Yeah, I do. He's a good kid and I know how much Sammi cares about him. I mean it when I say I hope he learns from all of this and gets help,"

"But he hurt our daughter, David," pointed out Mrs. Bass.

"Because he's sick, Vi. When I say I know, I just know. I know he cares about our daughter, just like our daughter cares about him," said Mr. Bass, standing up and kissing his wife on her forehead.

December 13th, 1987

The air was crispy and chilly for winter being so close, even if it was rare for an authentic cold in Los Angeles. Even with the chilly air, it didn't stop Sammi from lighting a cigarette and taking in tobacco into her system. She blew smoke into the air and leaned against the balcony of Emm and Sabrina's apartment. Sammi listened to the sirens go across the city, staring out into the lights. She then heard the sliding door open behind her, seeing Emma appear over her shoulder.

"You're not cold?" asked Emma, leaning against the railing next to Sammi.

Sammi took another drag before answering. "No, I'm pretty good even with this thin long sleeve," said Sammi as she held her pack of smokes between her and Emma. "Want one?"

"Nah I'm trying to quiet," sighed Emma, Sammi raising a brow. "My coach saw my pack in my duffle, gave me a lecture. So now I'm trying to quit," said Emma.

Sammi chuckled with a smirk. "Better than me. I think I'm addicted to these at this point," said Sammi, blowing another puff of smoke.

"Wouldn't doubt it with you being around Nikki so much," said Emma without thinking until realizing. "I'm sorry I didn't-" said Emma with wide eyes.

"It's fine," uttered Sammi, looking straight ahead, biting her lip. The two girls stayed in silence, sirens continuing to make noise all around. Emma couldn't handle it anymore.

"The boy's have been back for a while," said Emma. Sammi nodded. "They're gonna go to Tokyo soon," Sammi stayed quiet. "Have you heard anything from Tommy?" Sammi shook her head. "Have you heard anything about Nikki?" asked Emma, turning to see Sammi's expressions.

Sammi only kept a gaze ahead of her, taking another drag of her tiny cigarette. "When I said I was done with him, I meant it, Emma. I don't want to hear anything about him or from," said Sammi, smashing the bud against the black iron and flicking it down to the ground.

"It's his birthday," Sammi stayed silent, looking down at the ground, two floors down. "I'm on your side in all of this. And you know if you need to talk it out some more, I'm right here," said Emma, squeezing Sammi's shoulder as she walked back inside. All Sammi could do was stay outside and smoke another cigarette. She also could only play with the black stone around her neck.

December 23rd, 1987

Covina, California

3:30 am

The television light danced around the dark living room, the sound almost at a mute. On both of the sofas, Sammi and Athena dozed off with blankets and pillows cuddling them. They wanted a night that reminded them of their teen years, watching movies with popcorn late into the night. The girls could've easily slept into the bright and early morning until a loud ring echoed in the house. Athena rustled on her sofa, groaning from the continued ringing of the doorbell, rubbing away the sleep from her eyes. She looked across to Sammi, seeing her still fast asleep. Athena sighed out as they lazily stood up from the sofa, walking over to the front door. She looked through the peephole, confused to see Tommy visibly worried outside. Athena opened the door, almost tumbled down as Tommy rushed into the house, gripping onto the wall for balance.

"What the hell, Tommy?" whispered Athena, scrunching her eyebrows together into deep 11's. She finally saw a good look at her brother's face, noting his glossy red eyes. "Woah. Are you okay?" asked Athena, locking the front door.

Tommy shook his head. "Where's Sammi? I- I need to talk to her," uttered Tommy, his voice sounding raspy.

"Um… she's asleep in the living room over here," said Athena, walking a few feet to the doorway of their parents' living room. Athena halted in her steps when seeing two empty sofas and no one in the living room. Athena looked to Tommy, who was still on edge and scanned around the hallway. The sound of feet coming down almost made the brother and sister jump, seeing their parents come down the stairs in robes.

"What's going on?" asked Mrs. Bass, having the same face as Athena. "Sweetie, what's wrong?" Mrs. Bass asked Tommy, walking over and cradling his face in her hands.

"Why did you ring the doorbell so many times, Tommy?" asked Mr. Bass, fixing his glasses from slipping off his face.

"I-I-I need to talk to Sammi. It's urgent. I called Emma and Sabrina's and they said she was here," stuttered Tommy, eye darting all over the place.

"What's everyone talking about?" said Sammi, walking down the hall with a glass of water in her hands. She frowned at everyone around her, confused by the scared and worried faces, especially Tommy's. "Dude, have you been crying?" asked Sammi, standing right in front of her brother. Tommy only looked down at her with a painful sadness, biting his lip. "What's wrong?" Sammi asked again with a stern voice.

"Nikki's dead." croaked Tommy, swallowing the knot in his throat.

The room stood utterly still. Athena's eyes grew wide in a panic, turning to see Mr. and Mrs. Bass's mouths ajar from shock. Sammi didn't move an inch, just gripping tighter onto her glass of water. Tommy stepped an inch to hug Sammi, but this only made her take a step back. Everyone stared at Sammi, waiting for the smallest amount of something of a reaction.

Sammi shook her head. "It isn't true. Someone's lying. They have to be," said Sammi, feeling her heartbeat out of her chest and palms sweat. "Nikki isn't dead,"

"Sam, Slash called me. Slash's been calling everyone," said Tommy with a frown.

"Well, then he's lying! Slash and Nikki play shitty jokes on everyone! You know that!" yelled Sammi.

"He overdosed!"

"No!"

'Love-"

"No, mama!" said Sammi, pushing her mother's arm away from her. "He said he was going to get clean! Nikki wanted to get clean!" yelled out Sammi again, still managing to keep a tight grip on the glass. "He can't be dead!" cracked Sammi's voice, eyes turning into a sad pink.

"I'm tired of this," uttered Athena, walking over to the coffee table in the living room. Everyone followed her, gathering in the middle of the room. She swiftly grabbed the clicker, changing the channel from a MASH rerun to MTV.

Blasted right on the new television screen was a video of Nikki playing at their last American show. "It's a sad night in the rock n' roll scene as Nikki Sixx, bassist for the successful band Motley Crue, has died today in Hollywood due to a heroin overdose. He was only 29 years old," said the MTV news anchor. An image of Nikki appeared on screen, showing 1958-1987. This is what cracked Sammi finally.

Everything felt as if it was moving in slow motion. The glass in Sammi's hand finally fell free, smashing into a million pieces on the hardwood floor, water spilling everywhere. The sound of it breaking didn't register into Sammi's ears, but it didn't matter. Sammi felt numb all around her body as if she was weak. Soon when Sammi felt her knees hit the floor, it was back to 'normal.'

"No!" howled Sammi, tears running down her face. "No! No! No!" Sammi screamed, hunching forward and hiding in the palms of her hands. The air in Sammi's lungs felt almost gone, as if someone punched her in the gut because it was. Hearing the facts for herself of Nikki dying was a punch in the gut that Nikki caused her. Yet sadness was the only thing Sammi felt.

As Sammi gasped for air, Athena and Mrs. Bass lifted her off the ground to lay on the sofa. Sammi rested her head on Mrs. Bass's lap, continuing to cry. Mrs. Bass ran her fingers through Sammi's hair, frowning at her daughter's misfortune. Athena kneeled on the floor, soothing Sammi with soft rubs on her back. Athena soon felt her own tears begin to form, regarding the most miniature form of sadness than Sammi. It's strange what death can lead others to think at the moment. For this moment, Athena felt horrible for her history with Nikki. Never giving him a chance when she knew Nikki made Sammi happy. Never saying kind things about him to Sammi. And now never getting to say sorry. Athena felt even worse seeing Sammi break down for her person.

"Sammi, I'm so sorry," uttered Athena.

"I should've helped him. I should've stayed," outcried Sammi, tears falling down harder as she gasped.

"Don't say that. This isn't your fault," reassured Athena. "Nikki knew how much you cared about him,"

Athena turned to see Tommy sitting by their father, rubbing away the tears from his eyes. "Do you… do you know how Vince and Mick are, Tommy?"

Tommy shook his head. "I don't want to talk to them right now. I can't," mumbled Tommy. "It's late anyway,"

"Tommy's right. I think it's best we take Sammi up to bed," said Mr. Bass, squeezing Tommy's shoulder before standing up and walking over to his daughters. Mrs. Bass wiped away the dry cheeks on Sammi's face before slowly sitting her up. "Sammi. Sammi, come on, we have to take you to bed," Mr. Bass said softly.

Sammi only shook her head and cried harder, unable to have the strength to move. Mr. Bass and Athena gently laid hands on Sammi's arms and shoulders, bringing on her feet. Before they could help guide Sammi, Tommy moved past Athena and Mr. Bass as he decided to be the protective older brother he always was. He wrapped Sammi's arm around his neck, lifting her petite figure in his arms bridal style. In almost complete silence, except for Sammi's soft whimpers, Tommy carried Sammi up to her childhood bedroom. The rest of the family followed behind.

"He wanted to get better," wept Sammi into Tommy's chest.

"I know he did, Sammi," consoled Tommy. To his luck, Sammi's bedroom door was ajar, only needing the push on his foot to open it wide to walk right in. Tommy gently laid Sammi down on the bed, lifting the blankets to cover her body. Mr. and Mrs. Bass stayed in the door frame while Athena stood right next to Tommy. Athena delicately hopped over Sammi, squeezing herself in the rest of the bed space. She wrapped her arms behind Sammi for a hug, knowing her sister shouldn't be alone. Mrs. Bass came into the room for a quick moment, kissing on her forehead, then retreated back to Mr. Bass, going to their rooms. Tommy and Athena gave a knowing look to each other, nodding as if they could communicate telepathically. Tommy left the room without another word. The cry had stopped for Sammi, but now it was only numbness, physically able to feel her heartbreak. Sammi closed her eyes, praying for something to end this.

*

"You promise everything will be good from now on?"

Nikki smiles at Sammi, brushing away her dark locks from her face. "I promise. I meant it when I said I missed you and don't want to lose this,"

Sammi cuddled up to Nikki's chest, almost hugging him. "I believe you,"

*

6:00 am

In a stir, Sammi snapped open her eyes, dismayed to find herself in her childhood bedroom. It took a couple seconds before Sammi could remember what had happened only 3 hours ago. Sammi peeked over her shoulder to see Athena lightly snoring, lying straight on her back. She quietly snuck out of bed, knowing she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. The sun was barely making its way up into the sky for the new day. This new day wasn't what Sammi wanted, but she had to accept and begin to grieve, even if she didn't want to.

Sammi quietly went downstairs, seeing Tommy asleep on one of the sofas, continuing her walking down the hall. Sammi stopped when seeing the wall phone in front of her. It was a habit she grew to have, dialing Nikki only to hang up soon after. It was tempting at this moment to do it. Grieving has different stages, right?

Like clockwork, Sammi grabbed the phone with a shaky hand, pressing Nikki's home phone number from memory. Sammi leaned her head against the wall, closing her eyes as the tone began dialing, just waiting for his voicemail. Expect this time it wasn't the original.

"Hey it's Nikki I'm not home cause I'm dead…" said Nikki with a rough voice that has gone through the wringer. The beep of the answering machine made Sammi come back to earth. She gasped and slammed the phone shut, feeling her hands begin to shake. Sammi hastily walked back to the living room, dropping herself next to Tommy.

"T-Tommy. Tommy, wake up," shakily uttered Sammi, tapping Tommy's shoulder.

Tommy groaned, turning on his side to give his back. "What," annoyed Tommy said.

"It's Nikki. He-"

"Is dead. We already went through this, Sammi. I'm sorry for your loss," groaned Tommy.

"Tommy, he isn't dead," said Sammi. Tommy sat up in a flash, getting a dizzy spell from the quick motion.

"What are you talking about?"

Sammi didn't say another word, jumping on her feet as she tugged Tommy onto his. She pulled him all the way to the wall phone, passing it to him as she punched the buttons. Tommy's face went from confused to shock, eyes widening when hearing Nikki's answering machine message. In almost a freight, Tommy slammed the phone back on the receiver.

"I'm gonna kill him," said Tommy, nostrils flaring. "I'm gonna kill for making us worry like this,"

"Tommy as much as I would agree on any other given day, I want Nikki alive. We need to go check up on him," said Sammi.

"What if he doesn't want to see us? Why should we after he scared us?" asked Tommy. In a rash decision, Sammi punched Tommy in the shoulder with all her strength. "Ow! The hell was that for?"

"Your best friend, who you see as a brother, and my ex-boyfriend, who I still have feelings for, died last night and is alive again. You really don't want to see him after that?" asked Sammi, trying not to raise her voice. Tommy huffed, looking back and forth from Sammi to the floor, finally nodding in agreement. "Great. Let's tell Athena before we split," said Sammi, running up the stairs, Tommy in tow.

Athena was still fast asleep in Sammi's bed, moving over right into the middle. Sammi and Tommy shook her gently, repeating her name until hearing her groggy voice.

Athena opened her eyes, scrunching her face when seeing Sammi and Tommy standing over her. "Why are you two up so early?"

"I just called Nikki's house. He's alive, Athena," said Sammi.

"Oh thank god," sighed Athena, hands falling on her face. "Did you talk to him?"

"No, he just left a shitty answering message. Tom and I are going to go check up on him," said Sammi.

"Wait, I'm coming too!" said Athena, ripping the covers off her and jumping off the bed. "Someone needs to be stable between the two of you,"

"Okay great. Now change and let's get the hell out of here before mama and dad wake up," said Tommy, leaving the bedroom to head downstairs.

"I'll leave a note. Let's just hurry," said Sammi grabbing a random piece of paper and pen.

7:45 am

The ride was a quiet one driving through the California valley. Tommy didn't feel the need to race; wanting to be at ease, they grew closer to Nikki's house. It had seemed no one else got the news of Nikki being alive, flowers already beginning to gather outside his gate. Sammi swallowed hard at the thought, trying to prepare herself for what was to come. Tommy lowered the window, staring at the gate code box.

"Do you know his gate code?" asked Tommy to Sammi.

"Uh yeah it's 0882," answered Sammi, Tommy raising a brow. "Don't make fun of him, it's when we first met,"

"Damn Nikki being a softy was not what I imagined," teased Athena, Tommy giggling as he punched in the code. Nothing. Tommy looked back at Sammi.

"You sure it's that?" asked Tommy.

"Yeah! He never changed his code when he got this place," said Sammi, unbuckling her seatbelt and stepping out of the car. She tried the code herself, only to get nothing again, making her groan in annoyance. "Why would he change it?"

"Maybe to keep Veronica out," suggested Tommy, putting the car in park and getting out along with Athena. "I don't think we can climb this," Tommy pointed out. Nikki's gate was close to 7 feet tall of steel with surrounding brick walls in the front.

"Nope, but I do know where we can climb," said Sammi, walking to a nearby corner. Athena and Tommy glanced at each other with scrunched eyebrows, following Sammi around the corner to more brick walls only with more trees. Sammi stood in what appeared to be the end of Nikki's property.

"What are you doing? Again, I don't think we can climb that," asked Tommy, pointing to the wall.

"If you give me a lift, I'll prove how wrong you are," said Sammi with a slight smirk. This shut Tommy up, even with confusion and questions still on his mind. Nevertheless, he listened to Sammi and lifted her up as safely as he could. Sammi extended one foot against the wall, pushing herself up to graze the ledge.

"Sammi!" both Athena and Tommy said.

"Shut up! Tommy, lift me up higher," ordered Sammi. Tommy didn't argue, extending his arms high as he held Sammi's right leg. This gave his sister the chance to climb and sit on the ledge. "See! I proved you wrong!" exclaimed Sammi with a smile. "Now lift Athena and I'll pull her up!"

It didn't take long for Athena to be sitting next to Sammi, looking on the other side. "Oh hey there's a little hill on this corner, How did you remember about this?"

"Because this isn't the first I've had to jump the wall thanks to Nikki," joked Sammi, as the sisters lifted Tommy up by his arms to join them.

"You've had to sneak into Nikki's house before?" asked Tommy.

"His lovely ass forgot his keys at a party making us do this drunk," said Sammi, jumping off the ledge, landing on the grass perfectly. After the siblings all joined together, they walked through the backyard and straight to the sliding door. "Thank god," whispered Sammi as she found it unlocked, quietly sliding it.

The house was dark and cold as if no one cared to live in it. Dishes and stains piled up in the kitchen. It almost reminded Tommy of the Motley House, just waiting for the sight of a cockroach or rat to crawl by them.

"I don't hear anything," said Athena as the siblings walked to the front of the house.

"Maybe he's catching up on a few zzz's after his fiasco," said Tommy, taking one step to the stairs. After trying not to for the entire time, Sammi looked up the staircase as she bit her nails, nerves, and fear all in one. "What are you guys waiting for? Let's go see him," said Tommy, taking a few more steps. Athena held Sammi's hand for reassurance, walking up the gothic flight of stairs, Tommy leading.

The second floor wasn't as of a mess as the downstairs, but doors to other rooms were all open. Sammi could feel her heart pound out of her chest again once walking into Nikki's room. It was more of a mess from the last time Sammi spent the night, clothes and empty alcohol bottles thrown around. With no sight of Nikki, Sammi glanced over to the closed closet doors, swallowing away the lump in her throat. Sammi let go of Athena's hand, stepping closer to the closet, opening it with a shaky hand. A loud gasp turned Tommy's head.

"Oh my god," gasped Sammi, stumbling back into Tommy's chest, covering her mouth as she almost sobbed. Athena and Tommy could only stare with wide eyes, finding Nikki in an unfortunate way. In the middle of the closet sat Nikki, almost naked with only his underwear on, passed out. Beside him, his special wooden box of everything and a bloody arm with a needle lodged into a vein. Nikki looked scary to Sammi, his body completely pale and covered in sweat. "He cannot be alive after that!" shouted Sammi. Athena pulled her into an embrace, covering her eyes.

Tommy carefully stepped inside, kneeling beside Nikki. He took one deep breath before beginning to shake him awake. "Nikki," uttered Tommy. Nothing. Tommy looked back to see a scared Sammi, settling into his nerves. "Nikki!" shouted Tommy, shaking Nikki viciously. Finally.

Almost jumping out of his skin, Nikki shut his eyes up and let out a gasp. His blurred vision soon focused, looking around to find the siblings watching over him. Scared. Nikki's eyes locked with Sammi's, seeing the fear he caused. This made him want to just run away and be small, but he couldn't do that. Tommy didn't need to ask Nikki and carefully took out the needle of heroin.

"It's going to be alright, Nik. We got you," whispered Tommy. He tossed the dirty needle in Nikki's box. "Athena, come help me," Tommy told his sister, swinging Nikki's arm around his neck. Athena rushed over, kneeling by Nikki and grabbing him to support his weight. "Okay. One, two, three. Lift," said Tommy. The brother and sister lifted Nikki's weak body off the floor, trying not to stumble over their feet. Sammi could only watch, tears welling up as Athena and Tommy took Nikki to his bathroom. She still followed slowly, seeing how exhausted Nikki was. Tommy sighed out as he sat Nikki on the bathtub's edge, looking at Athena and Sammi. Nikki only stayed silent, staring down at the floor.

"Get out," said Sammi; Athena and Tommy whipped their heads to her. "Nikki needs a bath. I'll do it,"

"But-"

"Athena, it's fine. Tommy, can you please find some clean clothes for Nikki, something comfortable?" asked Sammi. Tommy nodded, stepping out of the bathroom.

"I guess I can make some breakfast for us," said Athena.

"There isn't any food in the house," uttered Nikki, finally looking someone in the eye.

"Um fine then I can just pick up from breakfast somewhere," said Athena, beginning to make her way out of the bathroom but turned on her heels. "By the way, what's the gate code? We couldn't get it the first try,"

Nikki looked away from Athena. "It's Sammi's birthday…"

Athena nodded with a smile that wasn't for happiness. "Of course it is. I won't be long," said Athena, kissing Sammi on the cheek before closing the door behind her.

The room fell silent, neither Sammi nor Nikki looking at each other even as Sammi got close to run the bath. Sammi began looking for a towel and even soap to wash Nikki, opening every drawer in the master bathroom. She almost gave up until opening the bottom sink cabinet. Right in front was a never-opened bottle of fancy scented liquid soap Sammi bought a long time ago with the two towels she used as her own. Sammi only scoffed, grabbing the three items to keep next to her. Tommy knocked for a second and dropped Nikki's folded clothes on the counter.

Sammi felt the warm water, adding a bit of her soap to the bath, turning off the water. "Okay, get undressed," said Sammi, turning her back on Nikki.

Nikki looked up, staring at Sammi's back for a moment, the feeling of regret coming up. Slowly standing up, Nikki took off his boxers and carefully lowered himself in the bathtub. Nikki didn't need to tell Sammi he was ready, seeing her kneel down in a flash beside him. Sammi soaked the smaller towel in the soapy water, adding more as she began the washing. Silence still followed, which only made Nikki want to scream on the top of his lungs. Feeling the towel draw across his chest didn't give any happy effect. It just made Nikki angry at himself.

"I'm sorry," whispered Nikki. Sammi remained silent. Nikki only dropped his head against the granite, looking up at the ceiling. "I could've done this myself,"

"I don't trust you,"

Nikki huffed. "Fair enough. I don't blame you. I wouldn't trust me either,"

When Sammi reached Nikki's arm, she grazed the bloody wound carefully, causing her to finally break.

"Why?" asked Sammi, finally looking up at Nikki.

Nikki looked at Sammi with deep elevens between his brows. "Huh?"

"Why would you go back after dying?" whispered Sammi, a tear rolling down her face. "You died and you still wanted to shoot up again… why?"

Nikki sighed. "Because I'm an addict. I never thought it would get like this though. I mean it when I say I'm sorry,"

"Yeah where have I heard that before?" mumbled Sammi. "I thought you were gone. Doesn't that matter to you?"

"It does..."

Sammi didn't need to say anything else, moving on to wash Nikki's hair.

8:50 am

"Um thanks for the food, Athena," uttered Nikki with a mouth full of diner chocolate chip pancakes. Thanks to Tommy, the siblings and Nikki ate on the kitchen island in awkward silence in the now somewhat clean kitchen. Sammi didn't look at anyone but the plate of her as she sat beside Nikki.

"You're welcome, Nikki. It's the least I can do. Just from guessing, you seem to be enjoying your pancakes," said Athena with a small smile. Nikki only nodded as he continued to eat.

"So I don't know if this is a great time to ask but, what happened, Nik? And please tell us the truth," asked Tommy. Nikki swallowed his food and wiped his mouth with a napkin. He glanced over at Sammi before speaking.

"Well, I was with Slash at his and Duff's hotel room. It was just us and a couple of random guys. I was pretty out of it already from bar hopping, so I don't remember everything. Next thing I know my dealer is next to me and I ask him to help…" As Nikki paused, he caught the glaring anger from Sammi's eyes. He only looked away. "You get the idea. Then I pass out only to hit with two adrenaline shots by an EMT who happened to be a huge fan,"

"Well aren't you so lucky" mumbled Sammi.

"Sammi…" said Athena.

"What? I can't say anything?"

"Yeah but don't be mad at him," whispered Athena.

"It's okay Athena," said Nikki

"I'm not mad at Nikki, I'm just mad at this day," said Sammi, going back to her food, feeling Nikki keep a close eye on her.

"Tommy, you're going to have to tell everyone that Nikki is okay. I think the last thing anyone wants is flowers flooding the front gate," said Athena.

"You're right. I'll call Doc after this,"

"I think what we need to do after this is clean the house for drugs, especially Nik's room," said Sammi.

"I can help," said Nikki.

"No. You need to sleep. We can handle this," said Sammi, resting her hand on his. The simple act of touch tugged at Nikki's heartstrings. Nikki nodded. "Athena, let's get the guest room ready for Nik," said Sammi getting up from her seat.

"Yes, ma'am," said Athena, following her sister up the stairs. "Are you sure you want to clean up this place?"

Sammi didn't answer right away, only opened a closet door that she knew had all the linens and blankets organized. She led Athena to the closet guest room, opening the door to find it surprisingly clean. She stripped the bed of its sheets, handing Athena one side of the new ones.

"Do I want to, no. Do I think it's necessary, yes. Again, I'm mad at this day but we've got to do things for Nikki right now," said Sammi, fluffing one of the pillows. Athena remained silent, helping Sammi finish the bed. Nikki shuffled his way into the room in perfect timing, surprised to see a clean bed with Tommy right behind him.

"Wow, thanks," said Nikki, sitting at the foot of the bed. Tommy and Athena waited for their sister in the hallway. Sammi squeezed his shoulder, stepping back to the door. The amount of no talking between the two was rare. Nikki hated every second of it.

"If you need anything just yell for me, okay?" said Sammi, leaning against the doorframe, hands hidden in her back pockets. Nikki nodded, laying down in a bed the first time all day. Sammi quietly closed the door behind her with a yawn. "Gosh,

I'm sleepy,"

"You'll take a nap after this. Where should we start?" asked Tommy.

"Athena and I will look through up here, and you can take the downstairs. I'm sure most of it is in his room anyway," said Sammi.

"Perfect! Let's get this over with and maybe go to sleep!" said Athena, latching onto Sammi's shoulder as Tommy dashed downstairs to the next guestroom. All three of the siblings were just trying to mentally prepare themselves for even more to come.

*

"Jesus this is so gross," groaned Sammi throwing dirty needles covered in napkins onto a pile on the floor. Sammi was right, as most of the drugs Nikki consumed were either scattered in his room or in his closet. This didn't stop the girls from looking through every corner of Nikki's room or bathroom.

"Why does Nikki have so many girl clothes? There's bras, shirts, and freaking underwear," said Athena kneeling in front of the bottom drawer of the black dresser. Sammi walked over to Athena for a peek.

"Because it's all mine," said Sammi, kneeling beside Athena. Sammi smiled as she looked through the drawer, finding articles of clothing she thought were lost. "Damn I didn't think he'd keep all this crap. Hey, my first Motley shirt!" exclaimed Sammi, pulling out a cropped black t-shirt from her first tour with the boys.

Athena could see the smile on Sammi's face, the first one all day. "You two really care about each other,"

"I guess we do," uttered Sammi, folding the shirt back in the drawer.

Before Athena could say another word, Tommy walked with a trash bag in his hand. "I called Doc. Told him Nikki was okay," said Tommy picking up the filthy pile for the trash bag. He dropped it down in the corner, sitting on Nikki's bed with a huff. "The guys and he are going to come. We need to have a meeting. You two included,"

"Why us?" asked Athena.

"My sister for moral support," said Tommy pointing at Athena. "My sister and Nikki's whatever," Tommy said, pointing at Sammi. "I just need the both of you there,"

"Fine but I'm taking a nap," said Sammi, jumping on Nikki's bed.

"Ew Sam, you don't know if it's clean or not," said Athena, curling her lip.

"Out of every bed I've slept on, I like Nikki's. Now shut up and let me sleep,"

Tommy chuckled at Sammi with a shake of his head, guiding Athena out of the room. It was something Sammi deserved.

1:30 pm

"Okay, I'm glad we can all make it today after these rough past 12 hours," announced Doc, standing front and center of Nikki's sitting room. On one sofa sat the Bass siblings while Mick and Vince sat across from them, Nikki still asleep upstairs. The tension between everyone felt gross to Sammi almost, wishing for an ounce of happiness like always.

"I hope that the misfortune of last night comes as a wake-up call for all of you men," said Doc. Sammi rolled her eyes without hiding it. "Now we need to discuss the question, where do we go from here?"

"Simple," spoke Vince. "We kick Nikki out of the band,"

"What?!" everyone but Doc shouted in unison.

"You can't kick Nikki out of the band!" said Sammi.

"And why not? Clearly, he isn't stable enough to be playing in a band,"

"No one in the entire rock scene is stable enough to be playing in a band!" explained Sammi.

"You do realize Nikki is the reason you're in Motley Crue right?" asked Athena, narrowing her eye at him.

"It was actually your brother," said Vince with a smirk

"Because Nikki made a fucking band and wanted me as a drummer. We all have jobs because Nikki fucking made Motley Crue. He does everything!" said Tommy.

"Do you even know how to write a song?" asked Mick.

"Enough! This kind of fighting isn't going to solve anything," said Doc. "We need to come up with a plan to move forward,"

"I don't know why you're acting like you don't know anything?" said Athena, crossing her arms. "Rehab! Rehab should already be in your head!" Athena said with a sharp finger pointing at Doc. Doc was almost taken aback by this.

"You're right, Athena. Nikki needs rehab and maybe this time-"

"No, not just Nikki. All of the guys" said Athena, looking at the rest of the guys turn confused into anger. "You all need to go to rehab,"

"What the hell, Athena. I don't need rehab!" said Tommy, jumping up from the sofa.

"You don't? So you popping pills, drinking until you blackout almost every night, and only two steps behind Nikki is healthy?" asked Athena, standing up to Tommy.

"It's not that bad! We aren't as bad as Nikki!"

"I can quit drinking whenever I goddamn please," said Mick, fixing himself to stay comfortable.

"Mick, since Sammi and I have known you, you pretend to be drinking water when it's vodka. You told me you were drunk recording Girls," said Athena.

"This is bullshit. I already did the whole rehab drama once, I'm good,"

"Now that sounds like bullshit," whispered Sammi, looking down at the floor with her arms crossed.

Vince cocked his head at Sammi. "Is there anything you want to say, Sammi?"

Sammi sucked the front of her teether, looking directly at Vince. "Yes, there is. For someone who went to rehab by force you sure couldn't do anything, they told you to do the first time. You still do drugs and drink exactly like the rest, and you're the one that went to jail because of drinking!" exclaimed Sammi, jumping on her feet. This quickly silenced Vince. "And Tommy, you cannot say you don't need rehab when mama and dad have been worried about you for years . I'm surprised Heather hasn't told you anything about stopping the drinking," Tommy only looked away from his sisters. "Mick you're supposed to keep in shape and stay healthy. Drinking your liver away isn't going to do anything!"

"Sammi's right. You guys-"

"Do not get me started with you," said Sammi, turning on her heels to face Doc. Doc's eyes grew frightened. "You're their manager. You are supposed to be the one to help them when needed but you didn't. Instead, you kept Nikki on the road just so you can get a paycheck. And don't tell me it's not true when I worked at Elektra. You fucked up too,"

"I helped as much as I could! I didn't realize how bad the rest were because I was concerned for Nikki!" objected Doc.

"Says the man who said he needed to cancel Europe because he was scared of the guy's wellbeing!"

"Oh, Sammi shut up! If you cared enough about any of us, you wouldn't have ditched us to San Francisco," said Vince.

"So you're blaming me?!"

"Vince, that's so unfair to accuse Sammi of that," said Athena.

"Sammi moved for school. She's not our babysitter!" said Tommy.

"Just quit it, Vince you know you're wrong," said Mick.

"No, I'm not! She only gives a shit about Nikki and Nikki alone. Why would she even be here right now?"

"Maybe because she-"

"Guys!" said Sammi, looking at the sitting-room door frame. Nikki decided to walk downstairs for the meeting due to the yelling, looking a little better than this morning. Nikki shuffled into the area, almost awkward at the feeling of everyone staring at him. "Is everything okay, Nikki?" asked Sammi.

Nikki nodded. "I just… I heard what you all were talking about and I agree with Athena. I think we should all go to rehab," uttered Nikki, pressing his lips together. Motley found this shocking, the three looking at Nikki as if he had a second head. Vince's anger at Sammi disappearing when seeing Nikki almost scared of everything.

Nikki walked closer to the sisters, giving them a smile that took the energy out of him. "Athena, Sammi, thank you for everything. I know you and I haven't always been great but I really appreciate it, Athena. You already know how I feel, Sammi," said Nikki, still keeping a distance.

"When's the earliest we can all check-in? It doesn't have to be here in California, we just need help," asked Nikki.

"I'll start calling today to check you guys in at the beginning of January," said Doc.

"No, we- I need to go sooner,"

"We should check-in before the new year. In case one of us chickens out," said Tommy, glaring at Vince.

"I'm on board, I know I just complained but if it helps the band, then it's worth it," said Mick.

"Alright then. I'll get on that right now," said Doc, walking out of the sitting room to find Nikki's phone. The sudden silence was unbearable to Motley. Mick followed Doc, wanting to help out in any way he could. Vince reaching for the pack in his jeans, heading out in the backyard for a smoke. Tommy sat down on the sofa, dropping his head against the back as he sighed out, Athena next to him. Nikki turned to Sammi, gently grasping her hand.

"I think you should start heading home," said Nikki, squeezing Sammi's hand.

Sammi scrunched her brows together. "What? No! Who's gonna stay here with you? I need to know you're safe,"

"And I appreciate that and everything but it's only gonna get uglier from here. Heroin withdrawals are no joke and I don't want you to see me go through that,"

"Nikki, I get it. Please I know how to help," begged Sammi.

Nikki shook his head, frowning. "I need to be away from you. I have to do this and be alone for god knows how long. We can't be like this anymore,"

Sammi winced at the words, staring up at Nikki in disbelief. It was now her turn to feel what it was like to be pushed away, and she hated it. Sammi let go of Nikki's hand, stepping away from him slowly.

"Alright. If that's what you need. I won't be here," said Sammi, swallowing away the lump in her throat. "Tommy, do you think someone can give you a ride home?" Tommy nodded. He passed the keys to Athena, remaining mute. Athena only gave Tommy a tight-lipped smile, then wrapped an arm around Sammi, escorting her away from Nikki. Nikki stared at Sammi until she disappeared out the front door, dropping himself next to Tommy. Tommy only wrapped an arm around Nikki's shoulders, bringing him into his side.

3:30 pm

Walking into their parents' home felt like a sigh of relief for the girls, wanting to collapse on a sofa. They were lucky to find their dad in the living room watching tv. Sammi fell beside her dad; Mr. Bass was still looking at the tv. Athena decided to give her sister some space and head up to her childhood bedroom until dinner.

"Where's mama?" asked Sammi.

"She went to pick up your wrapped presents from the store. Kept her mind busy from all of this,"

Sammi dryly chuckled. "Wish I could keep my mind busy from this day,"

"You and your siblings have been gone most of the day. I'm going to guess things went well with Nikki?" Sammi shrugged her shoulders, tears wilting up. Mr. Bass looked beside him to see Sammi's blotchy pink face and pouty lip on the cusp of crying. "Sweetheart, what's wrong,"

"I'm so tired from all of this," said Sammi, breaking down and crying on her father's shoulder. It wasn't like crying from last time, but just soft tears. "I was so tired of worrying about Nikki. And now when I want to be with him, he doesn't want anything to do with me!"

"Sweetheart, I don't think it's like that,"

"He said it himself, dad. I'm so tired and now he's going to rehab. I just want him to be okay,"

Mr. Bass sighed out. "Sammi, listen to me and listen to me good. Do you love Nikki?" Sammi sniffled her tears away, wiping the fallen ones away, and nodded. "You have to say it out loud,"

"I love Nikki,"

"Okay then. Now I believe Nikki loves you too. He just wants to protect you even more from himself by pushing you away at this moment. You have to accept that and be away from him,"

"But I don't want to," pouted Sammi.

"This may be cheesy but like they always say  if you love something set it free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be . I think you just need to set Nikki free for a moment so you two can come back to each other stronger. Do you understand?"

Sammi nodded but still let out a few more tears. Oh, to feel all of this in just one day.

[barbasbodaciousbeard]

If You Love Someone, Let Them Go: Part 10

Summary: Since starting with SVU, Sonny hadn’t kept much terribly close to the chest. The squad knew about his family, growing up on Staten Island, the classes at Fordham. What was hidden was why he didn’t date. Sonny Carisi was also separated from his childhood sweetheart, a separation neither ever took to divorce. They had the same haunts. They’d grown up neighbors. Their paths crossed every few months, and divorce talks would turn into reminiscing would turn into a night spent together, sometimes sex sometimes just talking until the early morning. It always ended with one of them waking up alone however. How will that change when the squad finds out?Pairings: Sonny Carisi x Original Character

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9

A/N: Thanks to official Sonny Carisi historian @cycat4077​ for screaming with me and sending me the relevant episodes. 

December 2015

“Tor, hurry! We gotta get to ma’s for mass.”

“I’m hurrying,” she said from her place on the couch, carefully buckling the strap of her mary jane. “Dom, we’ve got ten more minutes.”

“I just don’t want to be late. Everybody’ll be together this year. And Bella’s bringing the baby. They’ll all be there.”

“And look, I’m ready,” she smiled, kissing him softly when she stood. He wrapped around her waist, humming. Christmas had always been his favorite holiday, but it wasn’t quite the same without her. It had always been him and Victoria chasing the nieces and nephews around the house. He’d held Mia through each of the masses she was a baby for, and he was looking forward to holding Alma and Lucy through their first services. Alma was Bella’s girl, three months old now. Lucy was Gina’s and eleven months old. He’d been waiting patiently to spend more time with them, and now he got to. And he got to see them with Victoria by his side. 

Between therapy and the eight months that had elapsed, they were doing exceptionally well again. She’d known he was more than capable of being great, but it was nice to be back to where they’d been before. They’d be together on Christmas morning, and that had a new meaning to him now. He’d woken up alone the last two. As they drove to Staten Island, she laced their fingers and watched him drive, and she was rewarded at a light by a broad grin.

“What?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. Sometimes I just remember I get to be married to you. It makes me happy.”

“Stop it,” he laughed, cheeks going red as he looked back at the road. They were nearing his mom’s house. Her mom was somewhere in Europe for Christmas this year, so they’d be spending the night in that house, and he expected either one or two of his sisters and their husbands or the nieces would be joining them for the sake of space. He parked in the driveway, grabbing the duffel bag and dumping it in the living room of Victoria’s mom’s place before they went to his ma’s porch. They’d seen her plenty of times since Bella’s wedding, but Victoria still got nervous. Sonny had changed, and his mother didn’t like the way he stood up to her more and felt it was Victoria’s fault. She took it easily, thankful Ma didn’t give her a harder time.

“Sonny,” Bella squealed when she answered the door. “And Tori! We get you on Christmas again!”

“I know,” she laughed, hugging her close. “Where’s Alma?”

Bella rolled her eyes, leading her to the living room. Within minutes, Sonny had Lucy on his lap, and Victoria had Alma laying against her chest. Since Alma had been born, the last hesitance to have a baby had left Sonny, but he was trying to figure out how to bring it up. Seeing her cradle the newest of their nieces woke that same urge, and he watched her with a soft smile when Lucy was distracted with the singing bear in her hand. He wanted to see her holding their baby. Lately, they’d been babysitting the four kids in their lives. On the weekends, they rotated between helping with Noah or Jesse or Alma or Lucy, whether it was meeting for a family lunch or watching them so parents could run errands. 

The carloads of Carisis settled in the pew at mass, and his sisters were delighted to let Aunt Tori and Uncle Sonny take them. It always made Victoria’s stomach do flips to see how easily he could calm a baby. When she held Lucy, she was old enough it to be entertained by a pen and paper from her bag. Alma required that careful bouncing he was so good at, his hand cradling the back of her head as he sang hymns. When he caught her eye, she got a broad smile and he mouthed Lucy’s happy, like there wasn’t a three month old clutching the sleeve of his blazer as she slept. And when they got home, he watched his sisters take their babies, tuck them in with help from their husbands. He got overwhelmingly jealous sometimes, feeling like it was time for him and Victoria. But he had to be patient.

“It was good being with everybody,” Victoria hummed, stretching as they walked to her mom’s place. He hated how her mother was always gone. It was always highlighted after holidays like this. Her dad had abandoned them, and then her mother moved to Staten Island and had enough money to not need to be around. Family trips were trips where she left Victoria in an apartment with a credit card. They only arrived and departed together. 

“It was,” he smiled, rubbing her back. “I liked getting to see the girls. I invited Rollins in case she and Jesse were on their own, but I think they had plans.”

“That woulda been a full house.”

“Yeah. Maybe next year we’ll have the newest baby.”

“That’s pretty soon, Sonny.” She was washing her face, grinning over her shoulder at him. “We ain’t been back together long.”

“But you’ll be such a good mama,” he murmured, long arms wrapping around her waist as he pressed a soft kiss to the crook of his neck.

“And you’ll be an amazing daddy, cher. But it’ll take time.”

“I just can’t wait. I think about it all the time.”

“Me too.”

“Maybe we can start trying,” he teased, tugging her against him.

“Not yet.”

“C’mon beautiful. Could have a baby conceived on Christmas. That’d make them due late summer. I’ll be done with school and the bar. All daddy time during paternity leave.”

“Dominick, stop,” she said firmly, hands resting on his chest before she pulled back. At first, talking about how much she wanted his kid, how much she thought about it, made her happy. She felt like they were on the same page. But then the idea of their own baby being here at the next Christmas made her panic.

She was curled in their bed, clinging to his pillow having not gotten to say more than hello or goodbye for weeks. 

She was standing outside the restaurant on her birthday realizing he forgot.

He was coming in after missing Valentine’s Dinner as though nothing had happened.

It was their baby’s birthday, and he wasn’t there.

She felt her eyes well up, hands curling into the soft material of his henley, and then there was Sonny now, cupping her jaw as tears started to fall. They hadn’t been having issues, but this was burrowing up over the last couple of months. The case he’d shadowed, the teacher catfish case, the reality TV family that missed the sexual abuse of two of their daughters. He’d come home after each a little more distant. But he’d come back to himself after a day or so. But what if there was a little one there? A daughter whose face Sonny could put on the pregnant girls, the students being abused by their coach, the boy raped, killed, and buried under concrete. 

“Talk to me, Tor,” he whispered, holding her shaking hands as he backed her to sit on the bed. Sonny kneeled, hand on her knees. “Hey, hey, look at me, Doll. I’m right here. It’s Dominick.”

“What if it happens again, Dom?” she choked out, twisting to wipe her eyes on her shoulder so she didn’t have to let go of him. “What if the cases get to you and you disappear? There’s so many with kids. High school, elementary school, younger? I know you’ve been having fun being Uncle Sonny with Lucy and Alma and Jesse, but if we have a kid, and you panic? Then I’m alone again, but I’m alone raising a baby. Dad left! And mom may as well have! We’re literally staying in her house without her, Dominick.

“What does that have to do with this?”

“You were the only person that never left me. And you may as well have. What if a baby makes you feel like you might taint them so bad you do?” Her voice was airy as she took a shaky breath, and Sonny scrubbed a hand over his jaw. 

“Baby, I wasn’t thinking about how you must be feeling. And I never thought about it in terms of your parents. But you gotta know I won’t. But also, I understand why you feel that way. What do I gotta do though? I’m trying so fuckin’ hard. This is all I want. And I know I fucked up, but what else can I do? I’m not your mom. And I’m not your dad. I’ll always come home, okay?” 

His voice sounded desperate, and she hated herself for not being able to move on. Then again, she’d only been actively thinking about it for a month, and now they were talking about it. That was progress. She didn’t let it simmer unsaid until it reached a boiling point so high she could only leave.

“I know. You’re not. But it scares me, having a baby after what happened.”

“I’ll never emotionally abandon you like that again. I never left physically, but it might’ve been meaner, what I did. But what can I do so we can move forward?”

“Dom, this sounds really weird, but I think it might be progress that this conversation is happening.”

“How is not wanting to have a baby progress?”

“Stop saying that. That’s not what I’m saying,” she whimpered, cupping his cheeks. “I want your baby. But I’m not thinking about it as a nebulous concept when we’re better. This is reality. And I’m scared about something you might do, and we’re discussing it.”

“It is. And in reality, I would quit the force, cancel the bar exam, and move to Michigan if it meant having a family with you. If the force gets in the way of me bein’ a good husband again, I’ll quit.”

“You wouldn’t be happy.”

“I’d have you and our baby.”

“So you’d become a teacher or a salesman?”

“I-I guess not?” he muttered. “But I’m going to make this work. I am.”

“Six more months, okay? It took eight for me to go from ‘a baby in ten years’ to ‘here’s the reality of how I feel about a baby in this exact moment.”

“We talk about this is therapy though? I didn’t know your parents still upset you like that. I wanna make sure I’m not being a dick or anything. I understand why you feel this way, doll. But we also can’t know the future.”

“I know, Dom. Just give me a few more months, okay?”

“Deal,” he whispered, kissing her gently. “Let’s sleep. They’ll be comin’ to get us early so we can do Christmas morning.”

“You’re not mad?”

“No, doll. I can’t undo what I did, but I’m mad at me, if I’m mad at any one. I hate knowing you have a reason to feel like this. You’re not irrational, even though I’m sure I’ve changed.”

“You’re going to be an amazing dad, Dom.”

“You will too, Tor.”

[skullrock]

the first christmas

12 days of Christmas fics, day 7 - the first christmas

pairing: Joyce x Hopper

summary: It’s Eleven’s first Christmas, and Joyce and Hopper make it everything she ever wanted it to be, while kindling their own romance.

word count: 2.5k

warnings: none!

a/n: I think I am rly bad at writing jopper but I did my best <3 hope u enjoy! 

“Do you know what Christmas is?”

El shakes her head timidly, and Hopper lets out a deep sigh. Of course they never let her celebrate Christmas.

“What… is… Christmas?”

Hopper doesn’t know what to say. He tries to think back to what he had told Sarah when she was growing up, but nothing really comes to mind. He’s pretty sure Sarah just understood it  since she’d grown up with it. “Uh… it’s a celebration that we have every December to celebrate the birth….” Does El really need to know who Jesus Christ is? Does Hopper even know? “Of some guy that a lot of people… care about.”

“Like a birthday?”

“Yeah, except a lot of people celebrate.”

El nods. “What do we do?”

Hopper thinks the best way to show her is to have her watch some Christmas movies, hence why they were set up by the TV. “Here, you’ll get the hang of it.”

He almost showed her It’s a Wonderful Life, but Joyce vehemently protested, insisting on showing El Miracle on 34th Street first. Joyce said it was the best way to show El the meaning of Christmas, even if Hopper didn’t necessarily want El to believe in Santa. Hop trusted Joyce with his life, so he agreed, but he’s pretty sure it was the wrong call.

“Who is that?”

“That’s Santa.”

A long pause. “What does he do?”

Shit. “He’s the… person- he’s the image of Christmas. He brings gifts and makes sure everyone is being nice to each other.” He shakes his head at himself, but El seems to get it. She gets the present thing and the spirit of Christmas pretty well, but the legal proceedings weren’t helpful.

“Why don’t they think he’s real?” she asks quietly.

“Well, the guy is real, but people don’t think Santa is.”

“Is he?”

Jesus Christ. “Santa is a frame of mind. He might not be a real… person, but the message is there.”

El looks at him with furrowed brows, so he tries to elaborate.

“Santa… is Santa. He’s…. He brings people joy. So… if he’s not real, joy is still a thing.”

“Joyce?”

“No, not Joyce,” he laughs. “Joy. Happiness.”

“Oh.” She looks back to the TV. “Why isn’t it colored?”

“Old movies were in black and white.”

“Why?”

Sometimes Hopper hated being a dad, but only because he could not explain things very well. Not as well as Joyce could, anyway. He wishes she were here right now - not just to answer El’s questions, but because, quite frankly, he missed her. “They just were. I don’t know.”

“Oh. Okay.”

The movie finishes with El pretty much bouncing on the couch. She doesn’t verbally state her excitement, but it’s evident on her face.

“Fun, right? Makes you feel good?”

El nods. “Do we celebrate?”

“We will, if you want to.”

To be honest, Hop didn’t really know where he was going with this, hence why he didn’t think of a better explanation for Santa. He just remembers how much Sarah loved it, and he wants to make El that happy. He enlisted Joyce’s help with Christmas stuff, like finding presents and wrapping. Joyce loved El as much as Will and Jonathan, so she agreed easily.

El nods. “Yes.”

“Okay, well, get excited,” Hop says, pushing out of his chair. “It’s in twenty five days.”

El does the math in her head - 25 days was nothing after waiting forever for Mike. “Really?”

“Really,” Hop says. “C’mon, let’s get you to bed.”

===

The Byers went all out for El’s first Christmas.

Joyce, Will, and Jonathan came to help set up the house on the fifth. Jonathan had made snowflake cutouts, which Will had covered, to hang around the house. Joyce brought Christmas books for El to read, peppermint cookies, and hot chocolate. They’d brought some ornaments that wouldn’t fit on their tree, as well as lights, for the tiny pine that Hop had cut down in the woods. El really liked the smell of pine, fresh and uplifting. Her smile didn’t falter for a second as everyone moved around the small cabin, hanging things and cleaning. Jonathan gave El an old Santa hat, but she put it on Hopper and pouted until he reluctantly wore it.

“Looks good on you,” Joyce said in passing, which made Hop stop trying to prop up the tree.

“You mean that?”

Joyce didn’t answer, but Hopper’s smile was as big as El’s.

Probably the first thing El picked up on when she moved in with Hopper was that he loved Joyce. She knew it way before him, and wanted them to be together more than he did. El liked Joyce and always felt close to her, but she wanted Hopper to be happy, too. Once she learned about mistletoe from a Christmas movie Hopper showed her, there was no stopping her. She was going to get them to kiss, just like the couples in the movies.

Will had found an old bundle up in their attic and brought it for El, confused with why she wanted it. He figured she just wanted to touch it, or wanted the whole experience, or something. El really just wanted to make it float above the two at the perfect time. Which was, admittedly, not tonight - but soon.

===

“Snow!”

Hopper nodded at the stove. “Yep, just in time for your first Christmas.”

El made Hopper blast Christmas records the entire morning of Christmas Eve, and she made him wear the Santa hat. Hopper would have been irritated if it was anyone else, but El’s goofy smile convinced him to keep the hat on. He made her Christmas themed Eggos, complete with crushed candy canes and white chocolate, for breakfast. As they sat to eat, Hopper noticed a mischievous smile on El’s face.

“What?” he asked, mouth full.

El looked up at him and smiled more, but didn’t say anything.

“Alright,” he said, staring at her carefully. “Better behave. Joyce and the boys are coming soon.”

El’s smile grew, and Hopper didn’t understand why. But he felt close to smiling, too.

===

“Jesus, Joyce,” Hopper groaned, helping her and the kids carry in presents. He didn’t even know where she got all of this, or how she could afford it, but every last parcel went under the tiny tree in the living room. El’s face hurt from smiling, but she tried not to be too excited.

“What?” Joyce asked, throwing her free arm out. Quietly, she adds, “I wanted her first Christmas to be memorable.”

“It will be,” he promises. “Thanks to you guys.”

Joyce places the present she was holding under the tree and hits Hopper’s chest lightly. “You did good, too, Hop.” She looks up at the Santa hat and smiles as she adjusts the brim. “It - It’s crooked.” Her tongue sticks slightly out of the side of her mouth as she stands on her tiptoes, and she lowers herself slowly, continuing to stare up at him. El watches closely, almost about to make the mistletoe hover above them, but Joyce finally breaks from her stare and brushes herself off. “Who wants to make cookies?”

The day went by quickly, spent baking and taking breaks to watch movies. Jonathan rolled his eyes nearly the entire time, but stayed patient for El - and for Will, too, who was enjoying it. Will explained things for El - like who the Grinch was, and how animated movies work. El would nod and listen, but her mind kept wandering to Hopper and Joyce, who were prepping things in the kitchen.

“You don’t have to bake a pie,” Joyce said, fiddling with the pie crust. “Just because you’re eating at our house doesn’t mean you owe us.”

“I owe you for more than that.” He leans against the counter and sips on his coffee. “You made her so happy.”

Joyce shrugs. “Every kid deserves a good Christmas. Especially her. And Will.”

Hopper nods and stops himself from thinking too hard about the last two years. The only good things about it was adopting El and reconnecting with Joyce.

“Remember that snowball fight in the schoolyard?”

Joyce smiles and nods. “The one you started?”

“It wasn’t me!” he promises, laughing. “It was another Jim.”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Joyce beams. “The only person who would hit me in the head with a snowball is you.”

“That’s not true.”

Joyce scoffs and turns to him. “Do you think everyone should hit me in the head?”

“I’m not saying that,” he says slowly. “But you did get hit, like, ten times -”

Joyce reaches for some leftover cookie icing and swipes it onto Hopper’s nose. He’s taken aback, but Joyce smiles wide, wiping her hands on her pants.

“You did not just do that.”

Joyce feigns a frown. “Mmm. Looks like I did.”

Hopper reaches for the icing, but Joyce grabs his arm, laughing. “No, Hop - don’t -”

His finger swipes across her cheek and she gasps, not quite shocked but a little surprised, and grabs more for herself. “You ass -”

“Language,” he says, dodging her lunge. “Jeez, Joyce, you haven’t been this feisty since -”

“Since when?” she asks, lunging for him again, and Hop grabs her wrists to stop her. She takes a step towards him and their chests touch, both smiling. But Hopper’s smile falters, because Joyce is so beautiful, and this is the first time he’s seen her smile in a long, long time. He never wants the moment to end. Joyce suddenly bristles, and she gently slides out from his grip.

“Since high school,” Hop says smoothly, resting on the counter again.

“Yeah, well,” Joyce mumbles, once again playing with the pie crust. Her face falls, and then she looks over to him. “Do you even know how to make a pie?”

“You could teach me.”

She smiles again. “Well, I guess I have to.”

===

The kids managed to doze off, apparently too bored with the movies that were playing. Joyce and Hopper sat at the kitchen table, sharing cigarettes and a bottle of wine.

“What was the worst Christmas you’ve ever had?” Hopper asks, flicking his cigarette into the ashtray.

“Oh,” Joyce says, like she was waiting for the question. “First Christmas with Lonnie. He spent all of our money to get himself a - a - a gun. Didn’t even get me anything.”

Hopper swallows down his anger, never one to like Lonnie, especially after what he’d done to Joyce. “Damn.”

“Yeah.” She takes a drag. “Said his gift to me was to teach me how to use it.”

“Never took him up on it, huh?”

“No way,” she says, flicking her own ash. “What was yours?”

Hopper’s stomach drops and he diverts his eyes from hers, choosing to stare at the smoke rising from the glass tray. “First Christmas after Sarah.”

Joyce exhales slowly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have -”

“It’s okay,” he says. “I don’t think about it much anymore.”

Joyce frowns and reaches for his hand, resting hers on top of it. “You’re doing a really good job.”

Hopper chuckles. “Thanks.”

“I mean it.”

“I know.”

There’s a moment of silence before Joyce retracts her hand and asks, “What was your best  Christmas?”

Hopper smiles gently, takes a drag, and flicks the ash. “This one.” His eyes wander over the El, curled up on his chair, the boys sleeping on the couch. “It’s nice… being around people again. I guess….” He looks at his hands. “I guess I missed it.”

Joyce bites her lip. “It’s my best Christmas, too.”

Hopper looks up, brows furrowed. “Really?”

“Really,” she whispers. “Because I have Will, and he’s safe. And Jonathan’s safe. And El is safe and happy.”

“Yeah.” Hopper takes a slow drag. “You know why else it’s my favorite Christmas?”

“Why?”

He pauses. “Because I could spend time with you.”

He thinks he’s imagining Joyce’s blush, but she moves a hand up to her face to hide it, confirming its existence. “It’s been a long time, huh?”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “It’s nice to….” He swallows. “To have you back.”

Joyce looks like she’s holding back, but she finally whispers, “It’s nice to have you back, too.”

And Hopper doesn’t know how, but there’s suddenly mistletoe hanging above them. He swears it wasn’t there before, that it just appeared in his line of vision. Joyce also seems shocked. “Wh - I don’t remember hanging that up.”

“Me neither.” Hopper puts his cigarette out and stands at the same time Joyce does to examine it.

“It looks like something from my house,” Joyce says, brows furrowed. “How - How’d it get - here?”

“What the hell is it hanging off of?” Hopper mutters, and then he realizes it’s floating - El.

His head snaps to the chair. El’s still curled up with her eyes closed, but she’s smiling slightly. Hopper smiles too, then looks back at Joyce, who’s still eyeing the mistletoe.

“How did it -?”

“Joyce.”

“Maybe one of the kids brought it -”

“Joyce.”

“What the heck is it hanging on?”

“Joyce!”

She finally looks at him. “What?”

Hopper was expecting her to get the hint. “Uh. Do you know what mistletoe is for?”

“Yeah?”

He chuckles timidly. “Eh - uh, Joyce.”

She shakes her head, lifts her eyebrows. “Yeah?”

He leans forward and kisses her, fast, so fast that she hardly even registers it. She looks shocked when he pulls back, and his cheeks flush. Joyce stares at him with wide eyes still, trying to process it.

“I’m so- shit, I’m sorry,” he says, but Joyce leans forward and kisses him, quick, before pulling back.

They both stare at each other, and then the mistletoe falls, shocking them both out of it. Will and Jonathan wake up at the sound, and El wipes her nose as she sits up and stretches. Hopper grabs the mistletoe and holds it while Joyce runs a hand through her hair, biting her lip to stop the smile. “Boys, we sh… we should probably go. It’s late.”

Hopper smiles as he watches them pack up, Joyce tripping over herself.

“Are you okay, mom?” Jonathan asks, holding onto her arm.

“Fine,” she says, waving him off, pointedly avoiding Hopper’s gaze. “Must - must’ve drank too much.”

“I’ll drive, don’t worry about it,” Jonathan says, helping her into her coat.

“You guys drive safe, okay?” Hopper says, an amused smile on his face, and Joyce’s cheeks flush.

“We will. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Everyone says their goodbyes - Joyce and Hop’s gaze lingering a little too long - and when the door shuts, Hopper turns on his heels, looking right at El. He smiles wide. “Didn’t know you were a little trickster.”

She beams and shrugs. “Merry Christmas.”

Hopper steps forward and hugs her, pulling her in close. “Merry Christmas, kid.”

===

tags:  @pterawaters​ @mpmarypoppins​ @kurtsbuckethat​

[kerikaaria]

If I Never Met You: Chapter 10

(??? X Reader) Idol!AU, Manager!Reader

Genre: (PG13) Fluff, angst

WC: 3k

Warnings: Injury (I don’t use much detail but just in case that would bother anyone), someone’s rude

Series Masterlist

Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

“I already told you, I really don’t need all of you to help me move.” I addressed the seven eager boys trying to pile into the van with me and Sejin oppa. It was rather impressive that they all managed to be awake at 6 in the morning. “It’s basically just my clothes and a couple personal belongings and that’s it. At most just one, maybe two of you would be plenty.”

Well, that was a mistake to say. Now they were commencing a rock, paper, scissors match to decide who got to come with me. I shook my head and climbed into the passenger seat of the car, not bothering to wait and see the outcome.

I sighed as I looked at Sejin oppa who just chuckled. “Well, at least they’re excited,” he said.

“I think even that word is an understatement,” I replied. “They see me every day anyway, what’s so exciting about me moving next door?”

“Because they’ll be able to bother you literally 24/7,” Sejin responded. “And if you think they won’t, then you’ve got quite a surprise coming.”

“Is it too late to turn back?”

Sejin slowly nodded. “Looks like you’re stuck with them whether you like it or not.”

I turned my attention to the back door of the company van opening and saw Hoseok and Seokjin climb into the vehicle. I rolled down my window to address the five boys who would have to just wait for us to return. “We’ll be quick, like I said it’s only a few things. Now get inside before you freeze.”

We drove off to the college, where this would likely be my last time visiting – unless I were to go to pick up Jin of course. It felt a little bittersweet. I didn’t dislike the college, and even though I was not super fond of school in general, I liked what I was studying. I just found something I liked more, so I had to move on from it.

With the four of us, it literally only took one trip up and down to gather my belongings. The room was a single-person one so it was very small and couldn’t fit much, and I didn’t need many belongings in the first place anyway.

It was December 20th, college finals were all finished and the boys who were still in school were on their holiday break, so it was a good time for me to move into my new home. The boys were going to have a couple days where they could visit their families if they wanted to, which I was really happy to learn about. They all moved away from home to become trainees, so I could only imagine how much they missed their families. I knew I was really missing mine.

It was just as fast getting my belongings into my new home. And of course, as soon as we set the items down, the rest of the group entered through the doorway, carrying food with them.

“Guys”- I started.

“We have to have a housewarming party for you, noona!” Namjoon cut me off.

“We don’t have time for this, though,” I responded. “You guys have lessons in two hours.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll make it quick,” Yoongi responded.

“It’s tradition to eat some jjajangmyeon when you move,” Hoseok said. “We can’t let you move in without eating this with us!”

I sighed. “Okay, fine. We can eat this food together. But then I want to get my stuff put away, and you guys need to get to work so don’t think about staying long, okay?”

They agreed to my conditions as they placed the really delicious looking food on the table and the nine of us ate together.

After we ate, they took a look around my still empty apartment.

“Hyung,” Jimin addressed Sejin. “Can’t some of us just move in over here with noona? That way we're not as crowded.”

My eyes widened at his suggestion.

“Absolutely not,” Sejin responded immediately. “There’s only one bedroom here. And you cannot be living with a girl. It’s just not appropriate.”

“She is our manager though,” Taehyung chimed in. “It’s not like she’s some random girl. I wouldn’t mind living here with her!” He smiled.

“I want to live with noona, too!” Jungkook added.

I facepalmed and shook my head. Even if it were an option to consider, there was absolutely no way I was living with the hyper maknae line. Not that I didn’t love them, but that’d be like babysitting a bunch of toddlers 24/7, and without the help of the other members. Nope.

“Alright guys, time to go!” I quickly started to shoo them all out of my new home before more of them would say they wanted to live with me. As bad as I felt for the seven of them sharing a small room, it really would be bad if they lived with me and people somehow found out. I could just imagine the headlines about it now.

I got almost all of them out of my room, saying goodbye to Sejin as he left. But a very stubborn Jeon Jungkook wouldn’t leave.

“Jungkook-ah, why are you still here?” I asked him. Please don’t say you want to live with me again.

“I want to help you unpack.” He smiled at me.

“There’s not really that much, though.” I looked at the single suitcase, 2 boxes, and 1 bag of clothes sitting on the floor.

“Well, then this will be really quick, won’t it?” He said as he started opening up one of the boxes.

I sighed. “Well, just don’t touch the suitcase,” I said, giving in. It really was super sweet of him to want to help and since they still had an hour left before needing to go to the company, I didn’t really have an excuse to say no.

It took us a whopping 30 minutes to get everything in its place, and by the time we were done, you could still hardly even tell anyone lived here at all. I was not looking forward to what it would cost me to buy all the things I was missing, especially when I looked at my completely bare kitchen. But at least the room came with a television so I wouldn’t be super bored at home.

“Thank you, Kookie,” I said. “You’d better go back to your hyungs, you have to get going soon.” I placed my hands on the either side of his face and lightly kissed him on his forehead as a thank you. Ever since the birthday party they threw for me, these types of gestures started to become normal for us, at least in private. I wasn’t going to have weird rumors going around the company.

When I had first given Taehyung a kiss, it hadn’t gone unnoticed and the other two maknaes started to complain about wanting kisses too, saying I was showing favoritism. Although it wasn’t like I did this all the time - they became sweet gestures here and there. They were like my brothers and I was a person who enjoyed hugs and skinship, so I didn’t mind it.

Jungkook hugged me before saying goodbye and leaving. I told Bang PD-nim I didn’t need a full day to move and get situated, but he insisted I take a day off, so I technically didn’t have any work to do today. I still wanted to check on how the social media was going, though.

We opened both the YouTube channel and Twitter account for the boys this past week and started posting there. Sejin asked me to be in charge of keeping tabs on the posts, mostly because I needed things to do but also since it was my idea. I wanted to keep an eye on comments for now to get a gauge for what people thought, but I knew we probably couldn’t keep up with them sooner or later. The SoundCloud account would be opened in two days along with a few songs, but that was going through PD-nim mostly since he had to authorize any songs that were released.

There wasn’t anything particularly interesting going on with their social media, so I quickly got bored with nothing else to do. I decided I’d go to the company anyway and probably go watch one of the boys’ lessons.

Seokjin should be starting his vocal lesson right about now, so I could go listen to him sing, if he didn’t mind. He usually didn’t, he said it encouraged him to work harder when I enjoyed listening to his voice.

I made my way through the hallway leading to the vocal lesson room, when I heard someone talking loudly.

“WHAT? SERIOUSLY?!” They said. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly where, but I think I’d heard that voice before. “That brat is a full-time employee now?!”

I didn’t need to guess who they were talking about. Luckily, I was around the corner, so they hadn’t spotted me. They were probably standing at the coffee vending machine I knew was in the hallway. But that was the direction I needed to go, so I stayed planted in my spot.

“Shh, don’t talk so loudly,” a second voice said. “But yeah, I just heard that the president officially hired her. Crazy right?”

“I can’t believe it. She is going to do nothing but hold that group down, I swear,” the first speaker said. “She doesn’t even know her place. And the nerve that she had to think that she had better ideas than us, when it’s not even part of her job. Sejin better watch out because it won’t be long before she thinks she can just step all over him.”

Definitely the woman from the meeting. My gaze was glued to the floor as I heard them go back and forth a few times, continuing to talk about me. I closed my eyes and just tried to remember what Sejin told me about ignoring people like her, but it really was a lot easier said than done when you’re in the situation.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, so I jolted my head up to see who was there, scared that the people talking had seen me. But the hand was gentle, just like the person who looked at me with concern in his expression.

Yoongi stared directly into my eyes. He pushed my shoulders back with his hands to straighten my posture, then lifted my chin to keep my head high. He leaned towards my ear to whisper, “Ignore them. We’re going to walk right past them, together. And you’re going to keep your head held high, not sparing them a single glance. Their words mean nothing, and you’re going to show that to them.”

He looked at me expectantly. After a deep breath, I nodded and he led me around the corner. I felt my stomach doing flips, because I knew I didn’t actually feel as confident as I was trying to portray myself. But the fact that I had Yoongi next to me definitely helped, so I tried to focus on him and only him as we started walking.

Not two seconds after we turned the corner, they suddenly cut off their conversation. I glanced at Yoongi out of the corner of my eye, and he turned to me to offer me a small smile. But his expression quickly changed to his poker face. He tried pulling me behind him a bit, and I turned my gaze forward to see why.

The two were walking towards us, the woman who I definitely recognized from the meeting from a few weeks ago seemingly headed towards me. By the time she reached us I was almost completely behind Yoongi, but she still managed to “accidentally” spill her very hot coffee all over my arm and side.

I couldn’t stop myself from crying out in pain as I backed away from her on instinct.

“Oops, I’m so sorry,” she said, not even trying to sound sincere.

I could see Yoongi about to say something to her, so ignoring my pain, I quickly put a hand on his arm as if to tell him to stop and replied, “It’s fine. It was obviously an accident,” I said very blankly as I stared her straight in the eyes, making sure she knew that I knew that was a lie.

Before anything else could happen, I pushed Yoongi forward a bit so we could continue walking down the hallway. After turning the next corner and knowing they could no longer see us, I finally let go of the breath I had been holding back to let the pain I was in show.

“We have to get that treated right away, noona,” Yoongi said urgently as he eyed my arm up and down to examine the damage.

“I-it’s fine,” I stumbled out.

“No, it’s not,” he said, taking his jacket off. He carefully wrapped it around my shoulders so it hid my burn and the stain on my shirt, and he quickly but gently guided me towards their dance studio.

“Wait, why are we here?” I asked when we arrived at the door.

“There’s a first aid kit in the room, just in case we get injured during practice,” he responded.

He opened the door, urging me inside with him. “It’s a standard kit so it should have burn cream. Go sit on the couch,” he ordered while he ran to another corner of the room to find the first aid kit.

I did as he asked, thankful that no one was currently practicing here. He rushed back over to me and gently removed his jacket to take a look at my arm.

“Geez,” he breathed as he pulled out a soft towel from the kit to absorb any liquid that remained. I flinched and hissed at the pain from the touch. “I’m sorry,” he said as he carefully continued.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault,” I replied, doing my best to refrain from reacting any more.

After it was dry, he got out the burn cream.

“I can do it, Yoongi,” I said.

“No,” he insisted. “I’ll be gentle, I promise. Just let me do it.”

His tone had a finality to it, so I didn’t argue back. But as he started to gently apply the cream, I did find it in me to say, “I’m supposed to take care of you guys, not the other way around.”

He looked me in the eyes at my statement. “Noona, you being my manager doesn’t have anything to do with this right now.” He turned his focus back to my arm. “Right now, you’re my friend, and I’m taking care of you.”

Despite my pain, I couldn’t help but smile at that. After he finished dressing my arm, including gauze which didn’t feel very good against the injury but was necessary to keep the burn cream from rubbing off, his eyes widened for a second in realization. “Is your stomach okay?”

I looked at the stain on my shirt. “Um, I think so. I don’t remember feeling burning there. Let me check really quick.”

Yoongi turned around so I could lift up my shirt to get a better look. “No, it looks fine. The material must have absorbed enough of the heat.”

“Good,” Yoongi said, turning around just as I let my shirt back down. “You should probably go to a hospital to get that better checked out, though.”

“I’ll be fine,” I replied. “What could they do that you haven’t already done for me?”

Yoongi didn’t look satisfied at my answer, but responded, “Alright. I can’t force you.” He glanced at my arm and shirt once more, then grabbed his jacket sitting on the couch to hand it back to me. “You can borrow this to cover it.”

I smiled at him. “Thank you, Suga.” I put on the jacket, being careful to not agitate my arm. Then I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. “For everything. Thank you.”

He returned the hug, placing one hand on my head and the other on my back while resting his head on top of mine. “Of course, noona.”

We stood there like that for a moment until the door to the studio opened, revealing Jimin, Hoseok, and Namjoon.

“Well, that’s a unique sight,” Namjoon chuckled as we let go of each other.

“Hi hyung, hi noona,” Hoseok greeted. “What’s going on?”

I shook my head. “Nothing, really. We were just talking.”

“How did you get hyung to give you a hug?” Jimin asked.

“I bribed him,” I said with a smirk.

“Yah, that’s not true,” Suga retaliated. “I’m not heartless, I can give hugs.”

“Then can I have a hug, hyung?” Jimin walked toward him, his arms spread wide and big smile on his face.

“No,” Suga responded with a deadpanned look.

I giggled at the scene. “I’ll give you a hug, Jimin.”

“Yay!” He wrapped his arms around me tightly. He bumped the burn on my arm in the process, so I bit my lip to keep from reacting, but it only hurt for a split second. After he let go, I sat against the front wall of the room. “Well, since I’m here, I might as well watch your practice.”

Hoseok’s face brightened. He really loved having an audience to show off his skills to. “Wait, isn’t that hyung’s jacket you’re wearing, noona?” he asked, pointing at me.

“I have a song to write,” Yoongi said as he walked out of the room, keeping his eyes on me.

I smiled to let him know I was okay, then turned toward Hoseok. “I was cold, so he let me borrow it.”

“Bye, hyung!” Namjoon called to him as he opened the door.

Only a few seconds after he left, I got a text notification on my phone. It was from Yoongi. “Take care of your arm. Let me know if you need anything.” I smiled and went to put my phone away, but got another notification before it got to my pocket. “Oh, and no rush on returning my jacket.”

Series Masterlist

Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

Tags: @calling-dips-on-j-hope

Send me a message or ask if you want tagged!

[kateis-cakeis]

Love Victor Timeline

Love Victor is a great show.... with a great timeline... that makes sense.... In a way that it does not make any sense. @joenicky​ and I were talking and we realised, actually, the timeline is like a thousand times confusing. 

So, here goes. Timeline fuckery under the cut

So, first of all, the only real proof of time passing by a large amount is when Mia scrolls through her pictures at the end of episode 6. [video here]

So, we know Victor arrived in December because of these pictures with Mia. Presumably after Christmas because there’s no mention of it from anyone (and the Winter Carnival being after Christmas would fit with when the carnival is in Love Simon)

Episode one starts on a Wednesday because we see Victor’s lockscreen when Simon texts him at the end of his first day and it says Thursday. And when he first arrives, Felix says he’ll pick him up tomorrow. So therefore, Wednesday.

Except, except, if he did arrive in December and it was after Christmas (which me must assume because no one mentions it and surely if he’d had his first date or whatever with Mia, he would have gotten her a present???), but still in December, then he would have arrived in Atlanta on Christmas and then... wouldn’t everyone have been on break? Like school wouldn’t be open?

So, the next thing you’d think, well he might have arrived the week before. On the 18th. But you see, you see, he arrived just to go on break, yeah I can get with that, I can... But then Victor gets the job on the 20th. And Battle of the Bands is on the 11th of January. 

And is on a Saturday, and from Benji’s words when they’re at work the night before, on a Friday, “You caught on fast”, suggests that this is Victor’s first shift. 

I just can’t believe after being hired on the 20th of December that he’d have his first day on the 10th of January, three weeks later. But it’s the only way it fits!! 

But then we have to circle back to the pictures. The ones above were taken in December in a way that suggests this was after their first date and after their first kiss. Unless they hung out over the break and just casually kissed each other on the cheek like that randomly???

But from the way he talks to Benji as they close up, it sounds like the date is the first time they are hanging out after the Ferris Wheel, from Victor’s tone. And Benji calls her his Ferris Wheel boo which again suggests that the Ferris Wheel was like nothing more than a week ago and still in everyone’s minds.

But let’s slide that away for now because there are seven more episodes to talk about. Beginning with episode 4. Now this episode feels like it takes place either the day after Battle of the Bands or like on the Monday because Simon is like “Benji has a boyfriend :O” but uh... hahaahahahahahahah

Instead, it takes place on a SATURDAY! Which means between the end of ep3, and the beginning of ep4, a week has passed! How long does it take for Simon to reply??? wtffff ;jrfhgqalhjadghj

Now, now that would be bad enough but I just found something that has broken me for the last fifteen minutes. This:

At the beginning of episode 3 we see this lovely calendar in Victor’s room. We already know in this episode that it’s January so a win for consistency but uh... that calendar starts on a Friday for the 1st it looks like... January 2020, the 1st was on a Wednesday. But January 2021? It’s on a Friday.

But we know it’s 2020 from Mia’s phone. So which one is correct? I would say 2020 since Battle of the Bands is on the 11th on a Saturday which is the 2020 date....

So we’re in 2020 but god knows what the date is ahahahahaah

So we’ve established that episode 4 starts on a Saturday and ends on a Friday with the game. That one makes sense. We have no dates for it but it makes sense. We have days... It’s fine

EPISODE 5, it takes place on a Saturday. That’s all we know. Is it January? Is it February yet? I don’t know. Do you know? Please tell me you know.....

Sure we get to know Benji’s birthday but if ya wanna know Victor’s? The main character? Rippppp to youuuu

Episode 6... good old ep6. It takes place at some point in the week, then we’re at Friday... again. Always a Friday or Saturday with this show. 

(And also side note, if it is still January by like episode 5, i want to know how Victor got those 500 dollars so quickly to be on the team)

Anyway, one thing episode 6 does tell us is that by this point, we! are! in! February! Whooooo!!!! Yayy! New month!!

At the very least we can be sure that episode 6 takes place in February. Is it early, mid, late? Well considering ep7 is the next weekend, and ep8 is the weekend after, and ep9 and 10 take place in the following week after that, then I’d say it’s mid, because those three weeks then take us into early March, hence Spring Fling.

Now, you may be wondering, episode 7 is the following week? Why yes! It is! Because it starts with Victor in school, apologising to Mia for last night. Now, poor kid must have gotten hit badly in the head over the weekend because last night would have been a Friday which either means Creekwood forces its students to come in on a Saturday for regular school, orrrr it’s another plot hole. 

Getting real sick of these holes everywhere, im gonna break my leg falling into one

So then it skips to Saturday and fun times in Willacoochee happen, and then we get a Sunday. And thennnn

It’s ep8 and Friday... again. But soon enough it’s Saturday which is nice. We love seeing like two days of the week in this show.

And then Victor comes home and he’s at school in ep9? But it seems like he just got back so it’s Monday??? Because Isabel says she didn’t hear him come in last night, which must have been Sunday night.

So it’s Monday... supposedly... And the signs for the dance at school say “this weekend” so it’s like the start of the week... right? And this all takes place in one day because Victor and Mia hang out after school that night. 

Andddd the dance must be on the Friday because they are at school at the start of ep10 and the signs now say tonight. So the dance is on Friday. 

But also... Victor writes the note in ep9. And Pilar finds it. And then what...? Victor waits like four days to slide it into Benji’s locker? Like wtf Victor??? But episode 9 has to take place earlier in the week because he just! got! back! the! night! before! 

And I doubt he missed school because then only questions would have been raised.

So! ep9 is at the beginning of the week. And Victor waits four days to slip the letter to Benji into his locker for.... some reason???

And then the dance happens and it’s a Friday and it might be March but who knows if it is March but it is Spring so it might be March.

And that’s everything... that’s the timeline.

It’s half midnight for me... and im not tired, im hyped up on timeline bull and im lost and someone please make it make sense for my brain please. Thank you for reading, I hope you gleamed something from this

because i for one am more confused.... 

[sabraeal]

The Daisy Chain, Chapter 8

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

At long last, the end of this series! AO3 informs me that the last update was in December 2017, so uh....enjoy. This was written for @puffdragongirl for her birthday, which is TODAY because I am an adult who can totally finish things on time. Just...ignore that this fic has only needed one more chapter for two and a half years.

The room is dark when she slips through, silent save for the sound of Obi’s breath, thick and heavy with sleep. Shirayuki sets her back to the door, guiding it shut softly, the latch engaging with a sharp click.

It’s just how she left it: his coat slung over the back of his chair, the spray of paperwork across his desk, the soft glow of the stone on the bedside table; how it looks every night she’s snuck in to steal his warmth.

Save for the clothes strewn by the beside, of course, shucked as quick as corn at a husking, and the bare body sprawled beneath the sheets.

A hand claps to her cheeks, burning. She hadn’t meant for this to happen, hadn’t even thought it could, but--

Her eyes adjust, enough so that she can trace the sharp lines of his face in the darkness. Her heart clenches, overwhelmed with fondness, and she cannot hold back her smile. Shirayuki may not have meant for it to happen, but she’s glad it did.

His robe slides from her shoulders, joining his jacket on the chair. Cold air stings her skin, and before she can give a single shiver, she slips beneath the covers, pressing her body tight against his. He’s warm under her hands, bare-chested beneath the cocoon of covers. She would never dare, not even in summer, but Obi is a furnace; only seconds beside him and she’s warm from head to toe. By morning she’ll be a sweaty mess, and--

And that could be from an entirely different reason than she’s used to.

Shirayuki raises herself onto her elbow, watching his chest rise and fall beneath her hand. She knows this rhythm well, the long lull of his sleep; it’s been her constant companion these past few years, the last thing she heard before her dreams pulled her under. To think, for so long she fooled herself, believing that she could sleep as easy with another’s.

He sighs, head tilting on his pillow. The lines of his face are slack, unwary, his breath steady and slow. Perfectly peaceful in this place.

Her mouth rounds into a faint smile. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

His breath stutters, and she smothers a smirk. As if she couldn’t tell he was faking after all these years.

His nose wrinkles, eyes screwing shut. “I see Master is telling my secrets now.”

Her hand cups him, his cheek stubbled against her palm. With no hesitation, he leans into it, nose nuzzling down its hatched lines, the heat of his breath skating down her wrist. “Obi.”

He sighs, eyes slitting open to reveal a sliver of gold behind the cage of his eyelashes. “You weren’t supposed to know.”

“Never?”

He rolls up onto his side, lips brushing the base of her palm, sending sparks down her skin. “Not ever.”

Her mouth slants wryly. “So much for that.”

A laugh rumbles up from his chest, muffled by her palm. “Well, I wasn’t the one who told you.”

“Why.”

Obi blinks, eyes wide and gleaming like coins. “I...” His fingers clench in the sheets between them. “I didn’t want you to act any differently. Or...or make you feel that you had to-- to--”

“Love you?”

“Pity me.” His fingers wrap around her wrist, slowly stroking down to her elbow. “I consider myself a pragmatist, after all.”

“Obi.” She rests her forehead against his. “No more secrets.”

His chest trembles beneath her palm. “But how will I maintain my reputation as a man of mystery?”

She shakes her head-- or rather, rolls it along his forehead, noses brushing at the tip. “Have your secrets, then. Just not from me.”

His breath leaves him on a sigh, body relaxing under her touch. “I could live with that.”

“Good.” Shirayuki tilts her head, their noses parting as she closes that last breath of space between them.

A sparks courses through her at the touch, catching the tinder in her belly. It smolders, each brush of his lips against hers fanning the flame, threatening a blaze. Her fingers clench at his shoulder, and his answering moan makes her wonder if they could close the gulf between their bodies and start again, picking up where they left off--

“Are you all right?” he breathes, putting a healthy, finger-width of space between them. “Are you sure that we--?”

“Yes,” she murmurs, chasing his mouth, feeling that sweet rush of victory before he pulls himself back again.

This time, it’s further, and when she opens her eyes, an incredulous arch of an eyebrow waiting for her.

“No,” she admits, bowing her head against his shoulder. “I mean, yes to-- to wanting. But I’m not...” She bites her lip. “It was never going to be an easy conversation.”

His mouth curves mischievously in the dark. “It could have been easier.”

“I...I don’t think so.” His gaze is dubious when she leans back to meet it. “I could have been better prepared, and I could have, ah...avoided this sort of confrontation, but--” her fingers tips idly on his skin as she gathers her thoughts-- “this was never going to be...clean.”

He hums, unconvinced. “If you needed this conversation at all.”

“I did. We did.” She lets out a huff; if only words came as easily as kisses did when she was with him. “I think...I think I knew-- I knew when you said I couldn’t-- that a princess couldn’t work beside a common boy.”

“Ah, Miss!” He jolts away from her, as if her touch scalds. “You shouldn’t have listened to me. I only--”

“No.” Her hand cradles his cheek, and she leans in, rubbing noses together once more. “You were right. I just wasn’t ready to hear it. And when he asked for my hair, and you told me to tell him to come get it himself, I--” her breath catches in her throat-- “I knew he wouldn’t come.”

“Well,” Obi drawls, mouth rucking up shadows. “Looks like you missed the mark on that one.”

“That only makes it worse. He only came to collect, not to-- to--” she sighs, shaking her head-- “not to see me. This isn’t the way I wanted to start the conversation but...”

She worries her lip, choosing her words carefully before saying, “If this hadn’t happened, I’m not sure I ever would have had the courage to walk away.”

“Well,” Obi laughs after a long moment, teeth flashing white in the dark. “If you’d wanted to leave so badly, all you had to do was as--”

Her hand pushes at his chest, playful. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know, I know.”

“It’s only...” She curls in closer to him, her feet pressing against his shins. “It’s so much easier to do something when it isn’t just for yourself.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” He catches her hand, pressing it flat against his breast. “Before I met you, I did everything just for myself. Wasn’t too hard.”

Beneath her palm, his heart beats slow and steady, as faithful as Obi himself. “And now?”

His thumb strokes down the long bone of her hand. “And now I have so much more to lose.”

“No.” It’s little more than a breath, her fingers curling into his hair. “You have so much more to live for.”

His lips curve, entirely too inviting. “That’s splitting hairs, Miss.”

“You know,” she manages, eyes fixed on the full bow of his mouth, “I liked it better when you called me by my name.”

His breath stutters in his chest, his heart racing just beneath her palm. “Ah, but did you really like that, or just what I was doing while I used it?”

Heat pounds through her as she remembers the way his hands had gripped her thighs, how they had felt wrapped around him, how he had felt as he moved deep withing her--

“Can I say both?”

One of those hands grips her now, firm against the round of her seat, and drags her hip-to-hip. “You won’t hear any objection from me.”

Ah, yes, it certainly-- certainly doesn’t feel like he has any objection. Or, um, clothes.

Her cheeks flare unbearably hot, but she’s never been one to back away from a challenge-- or such a welcome invitation.

“We were interrupted before.” Her hand snakes from his chest to his shoulder, and oh, it would be so much easier if she was the sort of girl who was used to this, to asking for things, but-- “We shouldn’t leave things unfinished.”

She expects his mouth to tilt, for a wicked smile to spread across his lips as he slides her impossibly close, the heat of his breath skating across her skin, but--

But instead he only pulls back, concern furrowing his brow. “You didn’t--?”

“You didn’t,” she breathes, palm smoothing down his side. “Don’t you want to?”

“I--” The excuse dies on his lips, swept away by the slow brush of hers. He groans into her mouth, fingers digging hard into her thigh. “Ahh, Shirayuki, you--”

“Mm,” she hums, pressing closer, mouth tucked against his neck, his pulse thrumming against her lips. “I like the way you say it.”

“Haah?” he manages, hips canting towards her as her fingers trace over the curved bone of it. “What do you--?”

“My name.” He hisses as the words form against his skin, head tilting back. “I like the way it sounds when you say it.”

Her hand drops those last inches, wrapping around the hard length of his cock. He jumps under her touch.

She hadn’t touched it the last time; between the way his fingers had felt and the urgent need to have him inside her, she hadn’t even thought to try. But now its heavy weight is in her palm, both solid and soft. The skin is like nothing she’s ever felt-- well, at least not with her hands-- smooth and stretched tight over the firm flesh beneath. She knows it’s not bone, that it’s only vascularized tissue filled to the brim, but it’s hard enough that--

“Shirayuki,” he pants, forehead resting on hers. She blinks up at him, confused, until she realizes her hands have moved on their own, tracing along the bulging vessel on its underside, and--

And that’s working for him. Curious.

“Shirayuki,” he tries again, fingers gripping so hard they could bruise. “You don’t have to--”

His voice is lost, falling into a guttural groan as she finally moves, stroking her hand down the length of him. Heat pools between her legs at the sound of it, at the way his hips jerk between each stroke, chasing her touch.

She hooks a calf around his thigh, steadying herself. “I want to.”

His head tips back, exposing the tender skin of his neck, and Shirayuki knows an invitation when she sees one. Her mouth finds a ridge of bone, suckling at the flesh there, drawing out the most intriguing sounds from his throat.

“Shirayuki.” He’s panting, painfully hard in her hand, but still he manages, “I don’t want you feel like you have to-- that I have to--”

Her teeth nibble at the bone. He curves into her with a moan, hands clutching at her, dragging blunted nails down her back.

“I don’t,” she breathes, pulling away far enough to see how his pupils are blown, only that thin wire of gold remaining around the eclipse of his eyes. “I want to make you feel good. As good as you felt in me.”

He lets out a shaky laugh, hips bucking against hers as her hand slides along his cock, steady and sure. It’s-- it’s sticky now, some sort of liquid pearling at the slit on its head, but she isn’t disgusted, not in the slightest. Oh no, she smears her palm over it, rubbing it down his shaft, and is rewarded with another moaning laugh.

“If you keep talking like that, none of this is going to last very long,” he warns, words pulled taffy long as he thrusts into her hand.

Her pace stutters. “Do you need it to?”

Six years she’s worked in the clinic, solving every issue from bee stings to pleurisy, but none of them help her here, not when she is feeling as far from clinical as Wilant is from Wistal. She knows the mechanics, how to insert a round peg into a round hole, but these finer details can only be found in a library called experience, a place she has never been.

“Is that better for you?” she worries. “Should I go slower?”

His breath gasps against her shoulder, fingers bushing mindlessly down her back as she lingers on every stroke.

“Anything is good,” he croaks, “just as long as you don’t stop.”

The ache is voice is answered between her legs, pulsing at every hitched breath, at every lost word. But this isn’t about her; it’s about the guttural noises wrenched from his throat, about the way his hands can’t seem to pull her close enough, about the hot breath panting against her neck. It’s about how he took care of her before, laying her back and taking her so sweet, so gentle, and leaving nothing but pleasure behind. He took care of her, and now it’s time for her to take care of him too.

She wants this to last, to bring him to the same dizzying heights as he had brought her, to watch him shatter as he comes--

But oh, her arms are tired. They never mention this in any of Yuzuri’s novels.

“Something wrong?” he grunts, head lifting from the mattress. It’s only then that she realizes she’s slowed, her movement jerky, and-- and--

Well, she can’t imagine it feels good.

“My arm is tired,” she admits, heat flaring over cheeks. He lays a kiss there, muffling a laugh. “I’m not used to this sort of, ah...exercise.”

“Oh,” he croons, finger tracing along her burning triceps. “Your poor scholarly muscles aren’t used to this kind of abuse?”

“No, they aren’t.” She sighs, giving her hand a disappointed glare. “Is there anything else I can do?”

His mouth rounds into a wicked curve. “Oh, I could think of one or two things...”

“Oh!” She blinks. “What is it?”

He laughs, shaking his head, and waves her hands away. “You’re too easy, Miss. And it’s fine, I can finish this. After all, I’ve been doing this myself since--”

“No.”

He stares at her, and she stares back, just as surprised. “I mean, I want to.” She lets out a shaky breath, tracing his vein with her finger. “I want it to be me.”

Obi groans, loud and long. “Alright,” he murmurs, reaching for her. “Alright.”

With no warning at all her word tilts, settling only when she’s on her back, Obi hovering above her. He parts her legs, and oh, the wetness between them floods out, coating the tops of her thighs. She hadn’t known-- hadn’t thought--

His hips settle against her, his cock pressing into her belly, and-- and she knows the moment he feels her, feels how wet he’s made her, because he rounds over, mouth open against the collar of her nightgown, and moans.

“Shirayuki,” he gasps. “Shirayuki, please-- aahh.”

Her hand finds him again, wrapping around his cock, and her other follows, until every inch of him is covered, and the sound he makes when she moves is--

Is short lived.

His mouth presses hard against hers, no longer those hesitant, gentle brushes, but instead tangled tongues and sharp teeth. Her heart pounds, but it’s not the rabbit tattoo fear, but the ravenous drumming of a larger beast, one hand raising not to push him away, but draw him closer.

Her nails drag down his scalp, urging him to take more, to nip at her lips and lick her teeth, and he does, he does, but-- but his hips rock into hers, the base of his cock hitting her just where she needs it, just where she’s been dying for attention, and she whimpers.

He stills against her, and when she opens her eyes-- ah, when did she even close those?-- he’s staring down, jaw slack and eyes dark, and--

And then his hands are on her, one buried in her hair, holding her to his mouth, and the other palming her ass, holding her steady as he grinds into her, keeping pace with how she works him, driving her ever faster, rougher, until she can hear the wet slap of him between her legs and--

And it isn’t fair. This is for him, just for him, and all she can think is how good he felt in her, how good he would feel in her if only he wanted it--

“Shirayuki,” he whimpers, pulling at her lips. “Please, please...”

“Obi.” His name is little more than a whine. “Obi, you have to-- you have to tell me what you want.”

His head shakes buried in her shoulder now, sweat dripping onto her skin. “I can’t, I can’t.”

“Please.” She tangles her fingers in the bristle of his hair, tugging him back until he meets her eyes, desperation plain. “I want to make you feel good.”

His eyes flutter shut, a blush spread across his cheeks, his chest, and all he manages is, “Yes.”

“I want to make you feel good,” she tries again, but oh, his hips are so distracting-- “But I need you to tell me how.”

He groans. “I want--” a hiss breaks through his teeth as she rubs her palm over his head-- “I want to be inside you.”

Her jaw drops. “Oh.”

“Ah, no.” He lets out a pained laugh. “We don’t-- you don’t--”

“No--” her hands drop from him to tangle in the hem of her nightgown-- “please--” she drags it over her head, thighs opening wide for him-- “please put your cock in me.”

He stills above her, jaw slack. “Oh,” he manages. “Alright. Yes.”

She’s still sore from the first time, but she’s so wet he hardly has to do more than push and he’s seated in her. It’s an odd sensation, different than the last, as if she’s tight and worn at the same time, raw and still wanting. He thrusts, breath hissing between his teeth, and oh, yes, that’s what she’s wanted since he pulled from her that first time, to feel him in her again, right where he belongs.

“Fuck,” he murmurs, and then he’s lifting her hips, tilting her just the way she needs for him to be deep inside her, hitting her in a way that’s so perfect, too perfect, he is perfect-- “Fuck, you can’t just-- you can’t tell me that if you want-- If I’m supposed to--”

Oh, she hadn’t...she hadn’t known she was saying that all out loud.

“I want you,” she tells him, little more than a whisper in his ear, rolling in to meet each of his thrusts, her body humming with that elusive static, building with each thrust of his cock in her. “Please, I want you.”

“Haah.” He nips at her collarbone. “You feel much too good for talk like that.”

She grunts, confused, and he presses a sweet kiss to her lips, at odds with the desperate way he’s rolling into her. “If you keep talking like that,” he tells her with a laugh, “I’ll come.”

Something deep within her clenches, and they both moan. “I want you to come,” she tells him. “I want it--”

“Ha-haah,” he puffs, fist clenching in the sheets. “Good, because I-- I can’t-- I’ll pull--”

“No.” Her thighs squeeze tight around his hips, keeping him buried in her, allowing him only the space to keep his rhythm. “Don’t you dare leave me.”

His eyes pulse wide. “But I could-- you might--?”

Words fail him, and he just lays a hand on her stomach, and she knows with a clench of her heart which ones they were, which future he didn’t dare bring into the space between them.

Her hand lays over his even as her hips goad him on. “That wouldn’t-- it wouldn’t be a bad thing.”

“Shirayuki,” he manages, bare moments before he crushes her to him, pumping into her with abandon, saying the most wonderful things in her ear--

And then it’s over, his large body dropping limply over hers, their sweat mingling with their skin.

“Ah.” He rolls to his side, freeing her from his weight. Strangely, she misses it. “You didn’t manage it that time, did you?”

The heat is almost unbearable now that he mentions it, and she squirms against him. “I’m fine. I don’t need to—to come again.”

He gets a wicked look on his face. “Oh, no. This is an easy fix, Miss.”

He kisses his way down her body, and by the time he puts his lips against her cunt she—

“Well,” he laughs when he ears have stopped ringing. “Clearly we have a lot of lost time to make up for.”

Her limbs are limp, languid. “Later,” she promises as he settles beside her. “In the morning.”

His eyes widen even as hers close. “Yeah,” he murmurs as sleep pulls her under. “In the morning.”